Sentience

31

If Changmin would need to curse, it was now. He just couldn't understand how the time would be ticking away ever so quickly when he was trapped in a room of problems that seemed to have no way out. Why the time was leaving him so fast when he couldn't come up with any solution yet?

Above all, how come it was already 3 days since the intense argument he had with Belle?

The girl was running away from him. During these 3 days, even if they ran into each other, she would pretend like Changmin was invisible. Although he said something to her, she would remain silent like she hadn't heard anything in the first place.

Ji Changmin was totally a ghost to her and it frustrated him the most because he had done something.

Yesterday, when he met Mother at the playground, the woman seemed to be interested in Belle, and Changmin could tell it had been so long since the last time they met. But, still, the boy was unable to understand how or why the parting happened.

"What kind of girl is she now? Does she grow up well?" The woman asked and though it broke Changmin's heart, he still had a smile on when he nodded.

"Too well. She's a good girl... You don't have to worry, Mother," he added.

The calm evening unknowingly was filled with only Belle's name, triggering longing from the deep pit of Mother's heart. Seeing the wrenching sight scared the boy. He was scared if suddenly Mother would be asking about Brianna. If anything, he did not want to be the person who should deliver the sad news; if Mother didn't know yet about her passing.

And then, it happened.

Mother was saying, with a glint of tears tinting her orbs, "I hope Arabelle wants to meet me. I really want to hold her."

Right there, Changmin might have done something when he dove into the sea of emotions in the woman's eyes where he subconsciously announced, "I'll bring her to you. I promise."

He absolutely had failed before he started.

"There are the girls."

The announcement broke Changmin's trance. His head immediately turned to the left side of the long table in the cafeteria where the owner of the voice, Eric was sitting while pointing to the entrance.

Belle and Mia were walking in with two different expressions planted on their respective faces. While Belle looked grumpy, Mia, on the other side, looked like a happy puppy when she waved her hands towards the table.

"Are Belle and Changmin still fighting?" Kevin spoke up, flickering his gaze between the two which perked Juyeon's interest as well.

"Seems so..." Chanhee said shortly, pressing his lips into a thin line.

Mia was the first to reach the table, beaming hi to all the boys. She might be unaware that a conflict arose between her best friend and Changmin. Would she still greet them if she knew that Belle wouldn't do that?

And it was proven when her smile fell while the size of her eyeballs grew at the sight of Arabelle going past the table, not even glancing at anyone. She literally made everyone look invisible.

"Belle?" Confusedly, Mia called her friend's name but the girl didn't have any intention to stop or glance back. It made Mia ponder, suspecting only one guy to be blamed. "Ji Changmin?"

At that, Changmin gritted his teeth before both of his hands slammed the surface of the table; by accident, to push himself up. The bang was so loud that all of his friends flinched and soon noticed the annoyance painted on his face.

"I'm leaving," he announced, swinging his backpack over his shoulder. He did glance over at Belle, who was now standing at the counter. It amazed Changmin that she was unaffected, though the ruckus he made was quite big; he subtly smirked in annoyance. "So unbothered..."

Then, Changmin walked out from the cafeteria, without having any difficulties. Nobody stopped him, obviously. Because his circle knew that when he acted up, he needed a little space.

The boy walked up to his hideout, the staircase leading to the rooftop. He had never been alone here; he had always been with Belle. And that he didn't lie that it felt so much weird right now.

His heart was hurting that he wanted to punch the wall or bang his head against it, let his body full of bruises. A lump started to stick to his airway and his lips quivered like he had been holding back tears. It was something he couldn't comprehend.

Why must I cry? He thought so.

He leaned against the wall, breathing out loudly as he looked up at the ceiling. The pitter-patter of footsteps trailing up the stairs could be heard, but he paid no attention. Whoever wanted to come up was welcomed, as long as they didn't disturb him.

As Changmin tried to steady his breath, the footsteps eventually stopped, and a glimpse of a person halted right in front of him. The demeanour exhaled as two arms were pulled up in the form of a cross over the chest; Chanhee was disturbed by the picture he saw.

"You look like someone who's going through a breakup," his head pondered, and his brows furrowed. "Did you and Belle secretly date?"

Changmin breathed out, still looking up at the ceiling, "Broken friendship could be hurt too..."

"Tch..." Chanhee chuckled, moving to sit on the stairs. "Now, can you tell what exactly happened? I'm trying to understand the situation well. Why Belle is so mad at you?"

It was then, that Changmin squeezed his eyes as he clenched his fists tight beside his frame. The pain had come back, stabbing his heart and the urge to cry was now at its peak. The same question lingered, why must I cry? But, he couldn't care less about it.

"I don't know what to do now, Chanhee..." He paused, downing the lump. "I care about both of them. But both have different thoughts. One would want to reconcile, but another one... hate me for supporting the action."

Chanhee scrunched his face, "I don't understand... what are you talking about? Belle and who?"

"Mother..."

"Ah... Mother... wh-" Chanhee paused, as an idea crossed his mind. "Are they... related?"

Changmin nodded and the pretty boy started questioning how.

"I'm not sure yet. I want to ask but Belle doesn't want to see me anymore."

Unexpectedly, Chanhee chuckled, rising up next. Then, he stood facing his best friend, who now had wet eyes. A part of him was surrounded by pity that Changmin had to go through this, but another part of him would want to clap his hands.

"I told you, didn't I? Your sentience would get you in trouble," Chanhee remarked. "You prove me right, Changmin. Think about it... Maybe whatever problem existed between Belle and Mother has been long forgotten, but when you started to care, it resurfaced. And now what? Not only you are in trouble, but also them."

Changmin felt himself sunk deeper into the ground. Chanhee's words kind of stung; he could confirm, but he wouldn't deny that they were correct; Chanhee was correct.

"No need to kill me more," he choked on his tears as he slid down the wall and buried his face into his palms.

Chanhee moved closer to his best friend who was now bawling his eyes. He didn't know that this matter could affect the latter so much. Or did it escalate this much because it related to Belle?

The assumption seemed to be concreted when Changmin spoke up in between tears, absorbing warmth from Chanhee's comforting circles on his back.

"Belle must be hurting. It's always been me who's hearing her out, but she cancelled me now; who will hear her rants? She will not talk about it with her parents, I'm sure of it. What do I do now?" He sighed, tugging a handful of his hair.

It made Chanhee chuckle the loudest. "It's Belle who is running away from you yet you're still worried about her. Ji Changmin... Is this personal feelings?"