Conquering the Alpha (BxB) - Werewolf Story

Chapter 69: Skyscraper

JAYDEN

I am not proud of myself.

I have been feeling Jake being swayed by Skylar for a while now. If I am being honest, I felt like I was holding on to our relationship, grasping at straw, keeping us together by the tips of my fingers.

I knew Skylar was a worthy competitor. I knew he was a player in high school; frankly, I cannot exactly blame him. It's not like I spent four years of high school living like a monk, I played the field as one would.

But I could never have imagined that he would fight so intensely for Jacob - and it's not even a fair fight! He did not lavish him with expensive gifts; that would have been too easy for him. No, he was thoughtful and considerate. He was the perfect man, and that is something that I could never compete with. I am far from being perfect.

Despite what some people would say about me being one of the most eligible bachelors in Ravenwood, I am deeply insecure. Not about my body or anything of the sort, I just always felt like the ugly duckling next to someone like Skylar.

I know I project strength and confidence, that is what you are supposed to do as an Alpha - especially in the mix of so many Alphas - and I have been doing just that. But I am not the guy who gets violent, I am the one who stops other people from getting violent.

I am deeply ashamed of myself for going berserk on Skylar as I did. It wasn't his fault that Dr. Anderson did not approve of me. But he touched a nerve. I was already feeling insecure prior to that event, so when he suggested that Jake shouldn't go to Georgia with me, I just snapped.

But that was wrong of me for going after him like that. I am fully aware of that and have been beating myself up about it from the moment it happened until now.

Now that I am alone, I have time to think about the consequences of my actions.

Not only did I disappoint my grandfather, I have disappointed my parents and myself.

I am mortified by my behavior. I shouldn't have allowed him to get under my skin like that.

I regret that most of all.

Now Jake has told me that he was going to Texas with the Strongholds, I feel like I practically gift wrapped him to Skylar. If before I still had a chance of being with Jake, now I have made it worse for me to get approved by his mother and pushed my beloved to be with Skylar.

I was already feeling the struggle before, when I was still in the picture. Now that Skylar has Jake all to himself, I don't think he will ever come back to me. It's breaking my heart to even admit this to anyone, but I feel in my heart that Skylar has won him over. No matter how hard I wish he wouldn't.

Then again, I haven't been myself lately.

I am not the jealous type, for one, and seeing myself next to Jake, being suspicious of his time with Skylar in Boulder is not a good color on me. If Jake said nothing happened, then nothing happened. It shouldn't take him yelling at me in the busy cafeteria for me to realize that.

Why did I get so affected by Skylar's attempt to woo Jake?

He has been nothing if not loyal to me, even after Frederick Stronghold approved of him for his son. Why would I ever suspect that my angel would lie to me? If he says nothing happened, then nothing happened. Period.

I have never been this insecure in my whole life, but somehow Skylar brings out that in me. I guess he is everything that I could not be. Well, not everything. But somehow I forgot my worth as a partner and what I could bring to the table that nothing else could.