Empires SMP Out Of Context

9

Joey: Live fast, die young, leave behind a pretty corpse! That's what I always say!

Jimmy: You should say something else.

Scott: Joel, say aluminum again. It's the entire source of my serotonin during these trying times.

Joel: *sigh* Only for you, buddy. Alyoouminnieeum.

Supreme: Pearl, I screwed up, big time.

Pearl: Supreme, given your daily life experiences, you're gonna have to be more specific.

Joel: So, everyone, what does a story NEED?

Shelby: A character!

Pearl: A setting!

Xornoth, a gleam in their eyes, in a near-whisper: REVENGE.

Shelby: Why is Fwhip crying on the floor?

Gem: They're drunk.

Shelby: And?

Gem: They saw a picture of Sausage's spouse.

Shelby: But they're Sausage's spouse.

Gem: I know.

Supreme: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you're a coward.

Fwhip: I'm worried about you.

Fwhip: Sometimes, I don't realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

Lizzie: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Joel: That's great, Lizzie. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.

Lizzie, watching Katherine and Shelby from afar: Two Bros, Chillin in a hot tub. Five feet apart because they think they're not gay, BUT THEY REALLY ARE-

Jimmy: What are amphetamines?

Pix: Drugs that can go on land and water.

Jimmy: Ohhhh-

Jimmy: Hey Fwhip, do you wanna help us?

Fwhip: Oh, I would... but I don't want to.

Xornoth: Do you ever feel like exploding? Have you experienced the urge to enter the process of combustion? Has your mind created a logical idea, known as thought, to disperse your body into thousands of particles suddenly?

Katherine: It's 3 am, please go back to sleep.

Supreme: How do you want your coffee?

Shelby: Black, like my soul.

Supreme:

Supreme: Shelby, your soul is a latte.

Jimmy: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them??

Pix: What the hell do you do?

Jimmy: I die? What kinda question...

Supreme: I see the red flags, I acknowledge that they're there, and then I completely ignore them.

Supreme: *gets corrupted*

Fwhip: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its "intelligent" and "really cool".

Fwhip: But when I do it, I'm "petty" and "need to let it go".

Sausage: Two bros!

Sausage: Chillin' in a hot tub!

Sausage: Zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS FUCK!

Joey: Are you okay?

Xornoth, crying: Yeah, it was just the onions.

Joey: *Picks up an onion* What the fuck did you say to Xornoth?

Lizzie: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees?

Katherine: Bees?

Lizzie: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES!

Katherine: Wait-

*Shelby approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly*

Fwhip: *falls down the stairs*

Sausage: Are you okay?

Gem: Stop falling down the stairs!

Supreme: How'd the ground taste?