Her Muse

Chapter twelve

    We walked down the road, fallen leaves crunching under our feet indicating the autumn season.

"So, where are we going?" I asked shoving my hands into my pockets. He looked forward in silence and I thought he wasn't going to answer until he smiled

"A playground." he said mysteriously. I looked at him confused and he replied with an even bigger smile

"Why a playground?" I asked kicking off leaves from my path. He bent down to pick up a dried leaf crunching it with his fingers absentmindedly.

"I don't know, it's kind of abandoned anyway but I like going there." he shrugged his shoulders.

I twirled a curl around my finger coyly. "Oh so your special place huh?"  He smiled sheepishly and chuckled his brown eyes lightening up in amusement.

I stared at his orbs captivated. They look like they held so many stories, so many experiences.

  "I guess you could say that." He shyly scratched the back of his neck. I bumped my shoulder into his playfully.

  "How did you get to know it?" I asked curiously. He didn't answer and we walked some more until we stopped at an unkept but endearing looking playground.

"My mom used to bring me here when I was younger every Saturday." He smiled fondly. I mirrored his expression.

"Your mom sounds amazing." We went over to the swings swaying slightly. My hair whooshed behind me, a sense of calm washing over me.

"She is. I'll do anything for her. She's helped me so much." he mumbled as he swayed with me going even higher. I picked up my pace, the rusted metal cold against my fingers. The benches made unnerving sounds as we moved even higher but we couldn't care less. I left out a joyful squeal, my curls flopping as I almost fell off the swing set.

"Okay I guess I should stop before this whole thing collapses on top of me. I'm too drool worthy to die." I said dramatically. He chuckled.

"Well that would do the world a whole lot of good." He teased.

"Glad to see that I'm so special." I said sarcastically and we both slowed down our movements, the creaking sounds getting lesser and lesser.

"Wooh! that was amazing can believe I haven't been to a playground in a while." I stood up stretching my tired limbs.

  "Forget playgrounds. What you need is to go to a gym. I could hear your bones cracking like a Grandma's from a mile away." he teased and laughed and I pouted and shoved his arm.

"Meanie." I walked away from the swings and he followed me. He smiled and I stared at him confused.

"What?" he asked with a nervous chuckle.

  "You sure do smile a lot. I mean I've rarely seen you without one." I said incredulously.

His smile lessened and he shrugged "Guess for someone who had been diagnosed with Moebius syndrome, smiling seemed like a blessing." he said nonchalantly. I stopped walking and turn to look at him.

"Moebius syndrome?" I asked confused. He looks straight ahead his expression turning blank. he sighed.

"It's a rare birth defect that affects mainly the muscles that control facial expressions and eye movements. I had the medium grade paralysis so I couldn't smile, frown or raise my eyebrows."

My mouth gaped open not knowing what to do or say about the huge bombshell he just dropped. I finally recollected my thoughts and said

"P-Pierce-"

Great going Roxy, you did so well for being able to stammer out just one word when he's the one with the childhood trauma. He chuckled sadly amused at my lack of words. He continued.

"My mom did all she could to try to make me show any form of emotion heck, even anger. I think that's why she used to bring me here-to be happy. I was happy but every time I told her that, she'd say she knew but even as a child I knew she thought I wasn't. I was the one forced to hide my emotions every time, not her. So, one day she got fed up and took me to a hospital to find out what was wrong with me. When she found out I had the disorder, I could remember seeing a hint of happiness on her face. I'm sure she felt like it wasn't my fault after all, like it could actually be-fixed."he stopped and swallowed his eyes welling up with tears. I, on the other hand was full on ugly crying by now. Damn you, you emotional being.

"From then on, every penny she had went into the piggy bank for surgery. She had to work two jobs and was always tired at the end of the day. I, for one, didn't want the surgery. Not because I didn't want to be normal but just because I didn't want to see her working all the time.
She stopped taking me to the playground and I missed her a lot. She was always busy and the painful part was it was because of me." he whispered out the last part, a teardrop finally falling onto his beautiful face. I resisted the urge to reach out and wipe it with my thumb.

"Pierce-" I mumbled. I wanted to tell him so many things. I wanted to reassure him that it wasn't his fault that it was just a mom being a mom. I wanted to comfort him and make his pain going away but I could only mutter out his name in hopes that it will be enough.

"So when I was 14, she finally saved up money and I could go for the surgery. After that, I had to go for physical therapy all the time and by the time I was 16 I could fully raise my eyebrows, smile, frown, everything. I promised myself that my mom would never see my face without emotion, that she always see me with a smile." he said finally and smiled sadly. I stayed silent for some time, his words sinking in. I had never seen showing my emotions as a big deal but for him, for him it was everything. It was what made his mom happy. It was what he promised himself to do everyday when he woke up.

" Pierce, you have no idea how I feel for you telling me this." I said honestly.

"You're my friend. Though I don't have much of that." he chuckled. That was true. Pierce didn't really have any friends and I never knew why. I didn't want to prod because he had already revealed so much today. Maybe this was not a story for another time. We were walking in silence until I spoke.

"Your mom didn't just make you do the surgery for herself. She did it for you. She wanted you to show you happiness, anger and sadness freely. Your smile doesn't belong to anyone it's yours to keep." he smiled warmly and he was about to say something until sky rumbled and a downpour of heavy torrents began. And no, I'm not talking about the romantic 'main character kisses love interest under the rain' type of fall. The full on wind blowing, thunder cracking ones.

"When did this even show signs of starting?" I said incredulously.

"I never noticed it either!" he shouted back at me, his hair matting on his forehead.

"Come on, my house is close. Let's go." he dragged me as we began hauling our butts, hopefully not for too long to his house.

Wow, what a way to end a super sentimental scene of sharing his childhood (note the sarcasm).

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*Sniffle* what a sad story....well I made it 🥲

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