Keep Quiet (Phan AU)

Chapter 4

Phils P.O.V

4:02PM
-Phil??-

4:05Pm
-PHIL?!-

4:06PM
-Phil, please answer me!-

4:09PM
-where are you!Phil!-

These messages continuously went on but there was one final message that averted my eyes.

4:11PM
-I'm so sorry Phil Lester-

Dan howell? Sorry? No i thought. He's always enjoyed inflicting me pain, it's what he does best. Maybe he did it out off guilt, not because he actually cares. Dan doesn't care about anybody but himself.

He doesn't even realise does he? What he's actually done. It's actually laughable. How oblivious he is too other people's feelings. Everyday. Everyday I wake up and dread going too school because of him and his so called friends.

I have enough bullshit at home without other irrelevant people telling me I'm a piece of shit or that I'm a faggot and it gets tiring sometimes because I already know.

That's one thing they have achieved. Making me hate myself more than the time when I was blamed for the death off my mother. She was the only one that understood me and now she's fucking gone. I hate this world.

I decided too reply as he sent those messages almost an hour ago.

5:32PM
-im fine-

That's all I could say, all I managed too say, I didn't want too ask why he cared so much but then I felt like I needed too, I needed an explanation at least for today, but I was slowly giving up.

Another message sent through too my phone

5:32pm
-oh thank god, Jesus Christ Phil!-

I was so confused, I let out a little laugh. What the hell is he doing? Why he is being like this and why only now? Why not quit it fucking 4 years ago!

5:34Pm
-what Dan-

5:36PM
-i thought you did something stupid-

When I read this message, I scanned it over a couple off times too actually reminisce if this was actually true. Was Dan showing me that he actually cared about me? About my existence?

I hadn't moved or taken my eyes off the screen but I decided too play it casual and just straight up ask but I regretted it as soon as I read his reply, it made my heart shatter and my soul become more weaker.

5:37pm
-why do you care-

5:40pm
-well I'm not having the blood or police on my hands now am I? Plus I have a reputation to withhold faggot-

It wasn't the faggot, just the fact that I thought for a second that one person gave a damn and it was a big disappointment but not a big surprise.

I cried into my pillow and repeated the actions I did earlier as I threw my phone across the room and it hitting the wall viciously.

--
Dans P.O.V

I had an extra beating this morning, not exactly sure why. Just because I think he had more alcohol than usual.

I was 100% going too be left with a permanent scar.

I had enough. I walked out of the door too travel too school and let out a few quiet tears but these quiet tears turned into muffled sobs.

I usually see Phil walking my way during the morning but my vision was too blurred right now so I was unable too notice my surroundings and who was within my presence at the moment.