Shattered Perfection

Fifteen

Vivian was waiting for her when they got back to Autumn's house. Jamie was having a sleepover with Stephen and his husband. He had been so excited. As Siobhan walked in the room, Viv could see how drained she looked. She walked over to her and put her arms round her body. Immediately, Siobhan took a deep breath of Viv's scent. She started to relax straight away, placing her pounding head on Viv's shoulder. Viv rubbed her back gently. 'Did you get your things?' she asked softly.

'Mmm' Siobhan replied, too tired to speak properly. Viv drew back and looked at her critically.

'Siobhan are you feeling alright, you feel really warm?' she placed a cool hand on Siobhan's forehead which was burning. Siobhan tried to focus on Viv's face but black spots were swimming in front of her eyes. She swayed alarmingly. 'Siobhan!' Viv caught her as her knees gave way. She gently lowered her to the floor ensuring she didn't hurt herself.

'Autumn!' Viv called alarmed. Autumn, Reece and Marjorie appeared in the room. Marjorie was shocked.

'Oh my God, what's happened?' she cried rushing forward. Vivian checked Siobhan's pulse and breathing. Her heart rate was extremely high and her breathing was shallow. Her eyelids fluttered and she muttered in agitation.

'She just keeled over. She's burning up.' Viv replied. She held Siobhan's hand and kept her fingers pressed to her neck. Autumn had left the room but returned with a cool damp cloth. Vivian pressed it to her forehead. 'Thanks,' she said, 'she's not been looked after, the body can only take so much.'

Siobhan woke with a pounding head and dry mouth. She was resting in a warm bed the room was lit with low lighting. She lay still, looking around the cosy bedroom, wondering where she was and what had happened. Last thing she remembered was leaving Roger's house. Suddenly, she sat up. Roger! He'll be looking for her. She looked round for her phone but couldn't see it, she started to panic. The door softly opened and Vivian walked in holding two mugs which steamed. She realised Siobhan was awake and was freaking out. 'Siobhan, take it easy, you're safe.' She hurried forward, placing the mugs on the bedside table. Taking hold of Siobhan's hands, she sat on the side of the bed. Siobhan was breathing fast. 'Breathe with me,' she encouraged, holding Siobhan's hands against her chest so she could feel her breathing. After a while, Siobhan had calmed down and she rested back on the pillows with exhaustion. 'Here,' Viv said passing her a mug, 'thought you might like some soup.' Siobhan took it gratefully, letting the mug warm her cold hands.

'What happened?' she asked. Viv looked at her carefully, she held her hand out towards Siobhan's forehead.

'May I?' Viv asked softly. Siobhan nodded. Viv pressed her hand to Siobhan's forehead before running it down her face to cup her cheek. 'You scared me Bon,' she said, 'do you remember coming back with Reece and Mia?' Siobhan shook her head. 'You passed out, when did you last eat?' Siobhan looked away taking a sip of the soup to delay answering her. Viv waited patiently.

Eventually, Siobhan said 'Roger didn't want me to be fat for the wedding. It's been a while.'

Viv nodded, deciding not to comment on that further. 'You're at Autumn's house. You are safe, there's a whole houseful of people who will protect you. Me included.' They sat in silence for a while drinking their drinks.

'Viv' Siobhan broke the silence, 'where's my phone?' Viv looked a bit sheepish.

'We threw it out,' Siobhan's mouth dropped open, 'we thought Roger probably was tracking you with it.' Viv looked concerned, 'you ok Bon bon?'

Siobhan lay in the bed thinking. How did she end up like this? She was independent, strong and self reliant. Now she's reduced to a victim, cowering away from a spineless man. She was so cross with herself, the anger bubbled up and she didn't know what to do with it. 'Of course I'm not ok.' She snapped, 'look at what I've become.' The words slipped out before she could stop them. She clasped a hand over her mouth as her eyes filled with tears. 'I'm sorry,' she whispered. Vivian shuffled closer, placing both their mugs on the bedside table.

'My love, you have nothing to be sorry for.' She cupped Siobhan's face gently, 'you are the strongest person I know, to take all the abuse and still able face the world. I am in awe of you.' Siobhan looked into Vivian's eyes, her stomach was filled with butterflies.

'I don't feel very strong,' she whispered.

'Then let me be strong for both of us.' Viv responded softly. Siobhan reached up and tucked Viv's raven hair behind her ear. It was silky soft. Vivian's gaze slid from Siobhan's eyes to her lips and back again. Siobhan closed the gap between them and touched her lips to Vivian's, her eyes sliding closed. Viv's hand slid into Siobhan's hair, her nails scratching slightly at her scalp. Viv closed her eyes and let out a moan as the kiss deepened. Siobhan gasped at the sensations flooding her system. Her brain couldn't think straight as fireworks went off behind her eyes.

'Oh God, I'm sorry,' Marjorie's voice made them jump apart both breathing heavily. She was stood in the doorway with her mouth open.

'Congratulations Marjorie,' Autumn's voice drawled behind her. 'I told you to leave them alone.' They could hear the eye rolling.

'I just wanted to say Reece and I are heading home, but we will be back tomorrow to plan the next steps.' Marjorie rushed out. Vivian smiled at her.

'Thanks Marjorie.' She said. Siobhan hadn't said a word. Marjorie backed out of the room leaving them alone again. Viv turned back to Siobhan. She had her head down, her hair hiding her expression. Viv carefully put her finger under her chin and lifted it up. 'Bon, what are you thinking? Do you regret what just happened?' Viv asked quietly. She was so nervous, she didn't want to compromise their friendship but she couldn't deny her feelings for her. Siobhan lifted her eyes, her usually pale cheeks were flushed.

'Viv,' she started, 'you are so special to me, I don't want you to get hurt.' Viv opened her mouth to respond but Siobhan carried on. 'I have nothing to offer you except trouble. I've said some pretty horrible things about same sex relationships and I've been unnecessarily cruel. I don't know why you would be interested in me.' Viv's heart was sinking thinking that Siobhan regretted what they had just done. 'But Vivi, you are in my heart and I want to be with you.'

Viv looked shocked, 'wait, what?' Siobhan smiled at her.

'Viv, will you be mine?' Siobhan asked shyly.

Vivian's smile spread across her face like sunshine. 'Oh Bon bon, you make me so happy.' She gathered Siobhan in her arms and hugged her tightly. Siobhan buried her face in Viv's neck, breathing in her scent which calmed her immediately. She yawned. Viv laughed.

'Come on love, snuggle down and get some sleep.'

Siobhan looked shy again, 'Viv will you lay down with me?' Viv smiled at her, slipping off her shoes and turning off the light, she climbed underneath the duvet and gathered Siobhan into her arms again. Siobhan rested her head on Viv's chest, immediately relaxing.

'Sleep well my love,' Viv whispered into the darkness. Siobhan was already asleep.