𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 | Bbangsaz

chapter twenty three

(— can I make it?)

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[Before Minji's live for her
new song]

HANNI

After Yujin and I finished our ice cream we decided to walk to talk more but she hesitated and insisted that I should go home.

Actually she asked me if I would watch Minji but I didn't answer so she just smiled and left.

I opened my apartment's door and went inside, took my shoes off and immediately went to my room to change my clothes. I directly put my stained clothes in the laundry basket when I noticed something familiar. It was a jacket hanging on the back of my door. It was something I wouldn't wear but someone I'm familiar with would.

Minji.

I forgot to return it to her.

Should I return it? But that would be weird. I'm still angry at her. But that would mean I'm keeping her things. Ugh! I don't know what to do.

I sighed heavily and grabbed the jacket, placing it on the couch while completely sitting down.

Staring at the ceiling a memory suddenly flashed before me. The day we went to the carnival. The time she confessed her true feelings.

We ran and laughed.

Why did it have to be like this?

Why did it turn out like this?

I slowly took the jacket and went to the living room while putting Minji's jacket on the couch and ended up heavily sighing. I slowly remembered the day we went to the carnival. The time she finally confessed her feelings for me and how I did the same. We ran and laughed.

I thought everything would be perfect, I thought from that moment I could finally live the dream I've always wanted... but in the end, here I am, feeling broken. I also feel bad for Minji, after all she tried to give her best to apologize and even made Yujin tell me that we were hurting each other.

What am I doing? Was I wrong?

But I was hurt too...

What about me? I wanted Minji to be happy. I wanted her to be happy and seeing those hate comments about her, fake rumors about her made my heart sink. I may be a die hard fan but everything I felt was sincere.

It's not like I was expecting her to return the kindness to me because it was my choice to defend her— but why did she do that?

Finding that the account was Minji all along made me think she was playing with me.

But then....

"You know she was trying her best to fix the mess she caused"  Yujin's words keep on replaying inside my head.

Staring at the jacket, I slowly lift my fingers to touch it. Maybe, try to calm my feelings down especially my racing thoughts. My undeniable anxiety over this girl.

I wanted to understand her. However, doing that is the hardest part.

I'm not ready yet.

Because despite everything, I was still fooled.

However Yujin kept on coming back into my head. Her advice to hearing Minji's story makes my heart race. She told me that I should at least hear her side.

C'mon Hanni, decide already...

I closed my eyes and exhaled loudly before letting go of the thick fabric and getting a broom.