Camp Check

chapter 6

       "Who else do you think you like." She said. She was on the verge of tears.

       "My teacher. But I cant be with her shes happily married. Im sorry, but I thought you should know." I want her. I want Abbey,  I've never been so sure of something

       "Abbey please, I want you. Baby, please don't leave." I say. I don't want her to think she's a second choice, although that's probably what it sounds like.

       "How can you like someone else. I won't be your second choice" She says kinda mad, or maybe sad. Probably both.

       "Abbey she was there for me when I went through a really rough time. She helped me overcome a lot.  I just met you two days ago. But I want you. You could never be a second choice. Please dont be mad." I say worried that she won't believe me.

       "Get out." She says. She sounds broken. This is what I wanted to avoid.

       "No." I say. I need to change her mind. I want her and only her.

       "GET OUT." She screams at me. I flashback to my past.

       I started bawling. I got out of her truck and ran. I needed to calm down before I completely breakdown from the flashbacks. I didnt even notice that I had run right into Kendall (a counselor). I snapped back into reality and realized what I had done.

       "I'm so sorry I wasn't watching where I was going." I said wiping away my tears.

       "Thats ok I wasnt really paying attention either." She said looking at me worriedly. I told her that I was ok now and she accepted my statement after helping me calm down.

       I heard Abbey calling for me in the background. I was afraid of facing her. What if she started yelling at me again.

       "I think Abbey wants you." Kendall says. She sounds kinda jealous but I'm probably wrong.

       "Yea I guess I'll talk to you later." I say suspiciously.

       "Ok bye." She says, she then walks off to the lake.

       "Jody im soo-" I cut her off.

       "Just don't, please, I can't handle the yelling. I dont want to hear it. It's too painful of a memory."

       "Jody please I'm sorry, I overreacted. I didnt think about your past, you had just told me you went through a rough time but I didn't even think about what could have happened in that rough time. If I had I would have never yelled at you. I understand now that you were just trying to tell me that you needed help understanding your feelings. I understand now that I wasn't your second choice but a real choice that you knew of." She said leaned in to kiss me for consolation and I let her because I knew that me and her were going to be ok together now.

       "So I guess you forgive me." She asks timidly.

       "Thats not fair you know I can't stay mad at you." I say jokingly.

       We started laughing and then,
the laughing turned into crying. After we made up we spent the whole day together.

       I learned that the reason she didn't like her hips to be touched is because that's where that boy wrapped his arms to hold her down and rape her. In turn I told her that the reason I couldn't stand being yelled at without having a breakdown. I told her it was because my mom was very abusive growing up. She always told me that I could never do anything right, and the smallest thing would have a huge punishment. But not before she yelled at me for how ungrateful and useless I was. She also told me daily that I should have never been born.

      Abbey wrapped me in a hug and kissed my forehead and apologized for yelling at me for the hundredth time today.

      We started to walk towards the lake and I asked if we could walk around it. She took my hand and lead me towards it. I guess that means yes.

       We walked around the lake and talked more about our pasts. I told her about when I was diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD. I was also diagnosed with bipolar. She just told me that it's what makes me, me.

      I've only known her for a day or two, but I think I'm falling in love with her. When we get back to the camp it's dinner time, then movie night. I sit down and eat with kenzie and tell her all about my day. She tells me about hers too, apparently she met a guy here. She's going to sit with him at movie night. But she said she's still going to sit with me at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. After we finished eating we walked to the tabernacle together where the movie was. She went and sat with the boy she met and I went and sat with Abbey. The movie started and all the lights were turned off. Abbey pulled me into her and we cuddled throughout the movie.       

     After the movie ended Abbey walked me to the basement. Since it was just me and kenzie sleeping there she decided to sleep with me. She set an alarm for 4 in the morning so that she could go get in her bed before anyone noticed. She went upstairs to tell the girls on her room that she was going out to run a few errands. She came back down and crawled into bed with me. She pulled me into her and I laid my head in the crook of her neck. She kissed my forehead and told me goodnight. Then I drifted off to sleep.