Day and Night

Tensions

Chapter 18

Kylie Pov

as I walk to the car I send ruby a text letting her know I am on the way
~Hey on the way, see you in like 10~

~sounds good, Josh is here so I will kick him out before you come~

I dont reply and start driving, I think about everything what i'm going to say to her, what she might want to say to me. And how I can fix what I did in the past, i'm trying to change for the better I don't want people to think i'm going to hurt them, as I pull up to Ruby's house, I park and text Malia first,
~Love you, I just got here hoping this goes well~
she reply's within seconds
~it will go great I promise, Have fun I will see you in a little~

Then I text Ruby to tell her I'm here, in the past I just would walk right in, but I feel like I should wait for her to come.

~hey im here when your ready I will just sit in the car and wait~
its been like 5 minutes and no reply  so I text her again
~Hey everything ok I'm still waiting~
Finally she says something back
~hey sorry, Josh hasn't left yet, Im coming~

It's always Josh, ever since he came around Ruby as been a bit flaky, But maybe I will mention that in are conversation.

I see her head pop out as she opens the door, she steps out and makes her way to the car, I nervously open the door from the inside for her and she hops in, the tension between us is so sharp,
"Hey"
"mhh hey Ruby, um so where should we go"
"I dont care" she seems out of breath like she was crying,
"Everything ok Ruby"
"Um yea just Josh and me got in a fight before you got here, but thats not what we needed to talk about, umm why dont you go to the school up there and we can just talk in the car or something"
"sure" as I put the car in drive I tell her" no matter what Ruby you can talk to me, even if we are in a disagreement, don't ever feel like you are burdening me"
"Thanks"
we drive for about 10 minuites in very Awkward silence, Me and Ruby have never had this, why can't we speak what is going on. I pull into the lot and park the car. I leave it on because it's a bit cooler outside so I wanted to make sure no one is cold. we sit for a second in silence before I spoke up
"Ruby, I know last night was weird, but you had valid feelings I hope you know, I was not mad at you I got quiet because I realized you were right, I have put so much of my own shit onto you, and it all hit me at once"

"Ky, I had not right saying the things I did, I think everything I have been dealing with has hit me at once and I took it out on you and for that im sorry"

"but I feel that we should have moments where we call each other out"

"Kylie every time I call you out i feel sick for months, its not just calling you out that makes me feel upset its the look on your face, it looks like someone is telling you someone died, no matter what it is I say you always have this look"

"What do you mean a Look"

"When I say something you don't agree with, you put this look on your face, and it makes me feel worse, so maybe calling you out would help but you never take it well"

"if I work on the way I react would that help, I want to be able to have these conversations so we don't hold it in every time"

"I agree"

"Another thing I wanted to talk about was, During the time you and Malia we're split up"

"umm what happened"

"Do you know what it was like taking care of both of you, I went to see her once a day no matter what, and you lived with me, Im tired and drained from it and I think that plays a part in the way I was speaking to you. I think everything is hitting me know that I have had some time away from you"

"I get that and im sorry that we made you feel like this, I never intended for this to happen and im sorry"

"I know girl, I think i get in my own brain sometimes, and than seeing you both so happy again forgetting about me hurt I think"

"You think we forgot about you because me and Malia are fixing the relationship"

"I think because since you moved back you haven't tried to see me or make time for me, Im so happy you and Malia figured everything out"

"Ruby, I have been feeling this way about you and josh, since you started dating, I know we were living together for some of it, but I always felt like i was the last choice and I didnt want to feel like that so I stoped making the effort"

"If only we talked about this earlier, Im sorry I think I have been so focused on me and him and making sure he is happy, that I forget about myself and others and that's on me"

"I think this should be something we both work on, our friendship means the world to me and I cant imagine losing it"

"Me ether Im so sorry"

"Me to Ruby"

"Well now that we had that conversation I feel like I can breath again"

"moving forward we wont let anything get this far ok"

"Ok, lets get some coffee before going home because I really need a minute from him"

"is everything ok between you both"

"Ya we just get in silly fights a lot and both have to walk away for a little or I think I would kill him"

"perfect so if you need any help killing him I got you" I chuckle as I say it im happy to have Ruby and me back the conversation was awkward but it needed to happen, Malia and me have worked so hard I think I forgot to focus on anything but her and now that I feel safe with her again I can let myself have fun and hangout with Ruby without worrying that Malia doesn't trust me.