Everything’s going to be okay. Don’t worry. Keep your head down Ace. Just walk. I repeat this over in my head as I walk down the torturous hallways at school. Anxiety. They’re laughing at you. I’m so fat. How can I be so ugly? No one really likes me. My thoughts slip away again and I can only think negative thoughts. I’ve been this way since the start of highschool, when I was 13, now I’m 16 and nothing’s changed. Except for maybe I’ve gotten worse, but hey, my music taste sure has improved. When I got to highschool I realised that unless you were pretty or super confident people wouldn’t notice you, so I blended in as much as possible. I isolated myself from my old group of friends and hadn’t had much success in finding new ones. Also the fact that everyone thought I was a try hard didn’t help either, I don’t really try in school but I still get A’s which is surprising. I walk by the group of popular girls and they all turn to stare. They’re looking at my fat. Maybe I just shouldn’t come to school. I walk down the rest of the way until I reach my locker, I sling my bag off my back and then struggle to get the books I need out of my locker. Lucky me they fall out. People turn because of the crash and I try not to make eye contact with anyone as I bend down to get them. I shove them in my bag, lock my locker and head to the library. I can finally relax when I become surrounded by the books and the silence. I take out Crank by Ellen Hopkins and start reading where I left off. The bell rings too soon and I saunter off to my first class. I sit at the back with two people I don’t talk to, I look at a blank sheet of paper the whole time. After an eternity, bell rings, next block. I don’t feel annoyed or sad or happy I just don’t care anymore so the day goes by in a blur. When I get home I realise I haven’t eaten and figure that’s a good thing and I shouldn’t eat at all. I was 5’7” and 160 pounds. Not ideal. But trust me, I was going to be 115 by the time I was done school. No one was home either, my sister working, my mom working my dad working and all wouldn’t be home until after dinner, so I could lie and say I ate. I put some leftovers in the microwave, once they were done, I threw the food down the sink and left the plate out. Proof. I went up to my room, got my ipod, put the headphones in and escaped. I decided to go to sleep early so I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone once they got home so I ended up turning my light out at 10. No matter how early I went to bed, I always woke up tired, I was always so tired. I closed my eyes, turned up my music so I forced myself to not think.
My alarm wakes my up, and I have 20 mins to get ready for school, great.. I throw on some jeans and a sweater and stuff my unfinished homework in my bag. Brush my teeth and head into the backseat of my dad’s car. Silence the whole way. I get out and mutter a thanks and he weakly smiles back. What a family. As I walk into the school I’m a bit early but I notice a group of boys in my grade blocking the hallway, Stupid ass-holes. As I try to squeeze around on of them backs up and basically shoves me into the wall with so much force I fall over. He doesn’t even turn around. Normally I wouldn’t have done anything but today was not a good day. So I grabbed his shoulder and turned him around, oops it was only the most popular boy in school Cam, who was known for fighting and such, I didn’t think very highly of him. He stares at me and I realise I hadn’t said anything. “Were you just going to pretend you didn’t shove me into a wall?” I ask. “sorry I didn’t see you” he responds. “Ya well maybe if you weren’t so focused on being so cool you’d think to look around when you hit something and you know maybe blocking the whole hallway is not a good idea, did that ever cross your mind!?” I was getting annoyed. He looked shocked that I had said that, so he replied “Ya well maybe if you weren’t so fat I wouldn’t have hit you in the first place ‘cause you would’ve been able to fit through the space” He yelled. That actually hurt. Everyone in the hall had heard him and they all looked at me for my response. I saw nothing in his eyes except for coldness. I begin to tear up a bit but hold them back , before I started crying I turned and ran out the back door of the school and decided to start walking home, I’ll make up some lame excuse as to why I missed school to tell my parents. It’s not like they really cared anyways. I thought back to the comment Cam had made. Maybe if you weren’t so fat. He didn’t even know my name and he still had to nerve to insult me like that? I should’ve punched him. Welcome to the life of Ace Parker.
Authours Note: Okay so this is my very first chapter of my very first book, it's kind of based on a true story. I'm sorry if this is really really bad which it probably is but please keep reading and i will try to make it better! This first "Chapter" was probably really boring, but i just needed to introduce some characters especially Ace but there will be more detail throughout the book obvisously! Anyways, please don't give up on me! haha if anyone does end up reading this thank you so much :)
