Quick update: it's been awhile, but i recently re-read this , and i don't hate it.. also i got over 100 reads so yay!! thank you all, i dont know if anyone is even reading anymore, but here's the next part.
Today's the day, the day i go, and funnily enough i chose to go to school. Maybe to see all these fuckers one last time? no they're not worth it, i guess maybe just to see lucas. For the past 3-4 years my life has gone by in a blur, like im watching from the outside but not really living in it. Like im in constant shock. It's no way to live. So it's like im looking through a window yet i still feel pain. Not the best deal. Hating yourself, self-destruction, is not fun or romantic and no one is going to come save me. I am all on my own. For some reason, i take the pills with me to school. 20 rainbow magic capsules in a bag, they're so small but so dangerous it's exciting. I guess just in case school gets too bad. I can't even remember what i had for the first 2 blocks. I'd say the north american education system is falling apart but i don't really mind, it won't affect me much longer. I get to art and i don't bother listening to music or ignoring people, i say hi, because who the fuck cares when i wont be here tomorrow? I sit, and i smile at lucas and cam. Yup, even cam, he looks at me funny when i do though. Today, i decide maybe we should actually work on something together, so when the bell rings, i say "Hey, what do you want to do today?"
"Umm i was planning on collageing something"
"okay, sounds good." is my response.
Cam looks almost terrified, but sort of goes along with it.
"Are you okay? you're weird." cam asks.
"Ya , fine, i'll go get the magazines" I avoid telling anything personal, last thing i'd want is someone messing up my plan.
We sit and start ripping out pages, pictures, anything we could use. I find it relieves some of my anxiety, it's de-stressing even. I glue it on, and we start painting to blend it in, and let me tell you, it's not looking half bad. In fact, i like it.
"We don't make such a bad team after all" I say, im surprised at my own voice.
"Ace Parker, did you just give me a compliment?"
"No, i was basically saying you suck and i pick up the slack."
"Haha okay whatever you say"
Not a terrible exchange. We're almost getting along. I leave that class almost missing it, almost. Science can be skipped, it's just chemistry which we already did last semester, why they insist on repeating subjects is beyond me. As i walk home i say goodbye to the roses, the bugs, the pavement, the rain. You fill a terrible, terrible world, thank you. Now im so crazy im thanking things that can't think. When i get home i know i can't hesitate, i get a glass of water, a big one, and open the bag of pills. Mmm the red ones look good.
