Midnight || Sirus Black

chapter 13

The tension hung heavy in the air as Esther stood before Sirius, her heart pounding in her chest. They had just shared a moment of intimacy, but now she knew she had to tell him the truth. She took a deep breath, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.

"Sirius, there's something I need to tell you," she began, her voice trembling slightly. "I'm a Death Eater."

The words hung between them like a dark cloud, and she watched as his expression shifted from confusion to disbelief and then to a deep, gut-wrenching hurt.

"What?" Sirius breathed, stepping back as if struck. "You're joking, right? You can't be serious."

"I am," she said softly, her heart aching at the pain in his eyes. "It's my family's legacy. I thought... I thought I could make a difference from within."

"You thought?" he echoed, anger creeping into his voice. "Esther, how could you do this? How could you join them? They're monsters!"

"I know that," she pleaded, stepping closer. "But it's complicated. I feel trapped, and I thought if I could—"

"Trapped?" he interrupted, his voice rising. "You're choosing to be part of something that destroys lives! How can you even think that this is okay?"

"Please, Sirius, let me explain," she begged, desperation creeping into her voice. "I didn't want this. I thought I could find a way to help people, to change things from the inside."

His expression hardened, the warmth they had shared moments ago extinguished. "You're fooling yourself. You can't change anything when you're part of that world. You're risking everything!"

"I know!" she shouted, her frustration spilling over. "But I also know what it means for my family, for my name! I have responsibilities!"

"Responsibilities?" he scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. "You're talking about loyalty to a family that will sacrifice you without a second thought. You're throwing your life away for them!"

Esther felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes, the weight of his words crushing her. "I don't expect you to understand, but I need you to believe that I'm trying to navigate this the best I can."

"And what about us?" Sirius asked, his voice cracking. "What happens to us now? How can I trust you when you're part of that?"

"I still care about you," she said, her voice breaking. "That hasn't changed."

But the hurt in his eyes didn't waver. "You're in a world that thrives on hate and violence, Esther. How can you even say that?"

"I don't want to be part of that!" she cried, reaching for him, but he stepped back, the distance between them now palpable.

"You made your choice," he said, his voice cold. "And it doesn't include me."

"Maybe I don't want it to include you!" she shot back, feeling anger swell inside her, blurring the lines between hurt and rage. "You think you can just dictate how I should live my life? You don't get to decide that for me!"

Sirius stared at her, his expression a mixture of shock and disbelief. "So this is it, then? You'd rather align yourself with those who take pleasure in causing pain than try to make do with what has been set in stone torso long? Someone who actually cares about you other than your last name?"

"Care? Is that what you call it?" Esther retorted, crossing her arms defiantly. "You act like you know me, but you don't! You don't understand what it's like to be me, to live under the weight of my family's expectations!"

"Maybe I wouldn't have to if you were honest with me from the start!" Sirius shot back, frustration flaring. "Instead, you've kept me in the dark while you went off to join the very people who would see me dead!"

"Don't pretend you're so innocent in all this!" she snapped, anger lacing her voice. "You act like you're the only one with struggles. You're a Black too! You're not above this just because you chose a different path!"

"That's not the same!" he yelled, his voice reverberating in the night air. "I fought against my family! I didn't just accept their ideology! I didn't join the ranks of Death Eaters!"

Esther's heart raced, the heat of their argument fueling her indignation. "Maybe if you were truly committed, you'd understand why I have to do this! You think I chose this lightly? I'm trying to protect my family, and I thought you of all people would understand that!"

"Protect your family?" he echoed incredulously. "You're siding with a group that doesn't care about anyone but themselves! They'll use you until there's nothing left and toss you aside!"

"Then I'll be strong enough to handle it!" she shot back, feeling the walls closing in. "You don't know me at all if you think I'd let them walk all over me! This is my fight too!"

Sirius ran a hand through his hair, his frustration palpable. "You're delusional if you think you can make a difference in that world. You're only going to hurt yourself more!"

"Better than pretending like I'm above it all!" Esther spat, her voice rising. "You live in your little bubble, thinking you can be free from all this, but guess what? It's not that simple for everyone!"

"Maybe it wouldn't have to be if you'd just come back to reality!" he shouted, his voice echoing off the stone walls of the castle. "You're blinded by your ambition and your loyalty to a family that doesn't care about you!"

"Loyalty is all I have left!" she yelled back, tears brimming in her eyes as the fight left her. "And what do you have? A bunch of friends who think they can save the world? You're not some hero, Sirius! You're just running from your own demons!"

"I'm not running! I'm fighting for something real!" he countered, desperation creeping into his voice. "I'm fighting for people who actually deserve it—not those who revel in destruction!"

"That's rich coming from someone who thinks he can just walk away from his family without consequences!" Esther shot back, feeling her heart race. "You think you're better than me because you've made different choices? You have no idea what I'm sacrificing!"

"Sacrificing?" he echoed, his voice cold. "You're not sacrificing anything; you're giving in to the darkness! You're choosing to be part of the problem instead of fighting against it!"

Esther's breath hitched, anger swirling with despair. "And maybe I don't care what you think! Maybe I don't need your approval to live my life!"

"Then go ahead!" Sirius shouted, the hurt in his eyes deepening. "But don't expect me to be your perfect little husband!"

With a final glare, he turned and walked away, leaving Esther alone in the cold night. She stood there, trembling with rage and sorrow, the echoes of their fight ringing in her ears. She felt hollow, torn between her family's expectations and her feelings for Sirius.

"I hope you're happy," she called after him, her voice shaky. "Because I'm done pretending I actually wanted more than an arranged marriage!"

The silence that followed was deafening, and as tears streamed down her cheeks, she realized that in pushing him away, she had lost something that she didn't think could ever come back It didn't matter how much she fought against it; the truth was that she cared deeply for him, and now, that care felt like a cruel reminder of what she had chosen to forsake.

As she turned away, the coldness of the night seeped into her bones, and she felt a deep emptiness settle within her. She had chosen her path, but at what cost? She knew she would have to face the consequences of her actions, but the weight of that realization felt heavier than ever.

In the darkness, she whispered into the night, "I'm sorry, Sirius," hoping somehow he could hear her, hoping that she wouldn't be trapped in a loveless marriage.

ha. thought they'd be okay? yea er no. sorry. if this don't tell ya about my taste in men, I don't what will. love me a toxic man with a stach (mustache)

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