Invergent

Chapter Eight

Elise's Perspective: 

There's no going back now. I wish when I was up there I had turned to Marcus and asked for a redo. I wonder if it's too late now. Initiation hasn't officially started. I can't be in Dauntless. I wanted to be Erudite or Amity. Here, I have no idea what to expect. They'll probably have us jump off buildings and hunt our own food. 

I just need to get to Michale. He's always been able to fix everything, maybe he can fix this. Luckily, Jason brought bandages he let me use to wrap my hand with. He tells me that I might want to start carrying them on me, too, because you never know when you'll need them. Lynn comes up at the perfect moment to make fun of him for it. I'm just grateful I can pull the sleeves of my brother's hoodie down without worrying about bloodying it. 

I keep trying to catch Michale's eye, but his attention is glued to the ceremony. I wonder if I disappointed him; if he thinks I did it on purpose or if he knows it was an accident. I'm sure if we were allowed one last night at home, he would give me one of his famous big older brother lectures. I pull the hoodie over my nose to take in the scent. Apple cinnamon and pine trees. I wonder how long it'll last before it fades. 

"Elise," Jason says, grabbing my arm. My eyes snap up to meet his, wide with shock. I didn't realize how much time had passed. I look back to the stage and notice the last girl choosing her faction. Amity. I envy her. "We're going to go now." 

I look back at Jason and shake my head. I need to calm down. It's starting to look like my only option is to make it through initiation. I can get a quiet job like cook, or something with computers. I'm sure I won't be forced to participate in the famous Dauntless stunts. I'll blend in with the crowd, avoid making enemies, and I'll do just fine.

I look around and notice the other initiates behind me. The transfers are supposed to stand behind the Dauntless-borns, which is less of a rule and more just how things are. Jason pulled me to the front shortly after I got there, though. He said since I was the first transfer I deserved to stand in front, which makes no sense to me, but I didn't complain. I thought being in the front would increases my chances of getting Michale's attention. That plan obviously didn't work out for me. Most of them are in Candor black and white, which makes me feel more uneasy. I hate the Candor. Three are from Erudite, and there's one other Amity. I recognize him. His name is Andre. He lived in the house across from mine, but we didn't talk much.

"Are you good at jumping trains?" My eyes snap back to Jason. 

"I-" 

"She'll be fine." Lynn rolls her eyes. 

"I'm just trying to help her," Jason snaps back. I feel like drowning. In Amity, we avoid fights at all costs. 

"You need to worry less. Either she makes it, or she doesn't." 

"Cold as ice." Jason shakes his head like a disapproving father in Lynn's direction. She only smirks in response.  

The Dauntless start walking towards the stairs, and I make a point to stay behind Jason. As long as I stay next to him, I'll make it. I think to myself. I've never been on a train, or even a bus. As soon as we get to the stairs, the Dauntless erupt in cheers and laughter. I hear people shouting chants and hyping each other up. We all break out into a run. For the first time since I got on that stage, I feel alright. I feel excited. I laugh when we make it out of the building. 

We run across the street, not stopping even when we hear the horns of the bus. I feel like I'm a part of something. Even if I don't really know anyone here, for the first time I can see myself being Dauntless. Maybe not every day. I still want a quieter life. I still wish I was going home with my brother. But if I have to be here, I might as well make the most of it. I might as well enjoy the moments that aren't as unbearable. I'm Dauntless now, so I can't let my fear hold me back.