He has my heart. L.s.

29

It's been weeks, I've talked to Louis a little but mostly it just ends up with us fighting. My self harming has gotten worst, and I honestly I don't know what to do. Today I walk into school with a black eye and broken nose, I think I haven't gotten it checked. I also have a busted lip.

Since it has been snowing the roads are nightmares and it's to cold to stand outside. I walk inside and see Louis by a locker talking with Sophia, he's been a lot better though. Not necessarily happier, but better. Still an arse. Zayn offers a friendly smile as I pass him going to the toilets. Staring into the mirror I examine my eye and lip, now my Dad didn't do my eye or lip, nor is he the reason I have bruises on my sides. It was Dallas and his mates they jumped me and I didn't have a chance to hit back like I normally would have. It was four of them.

My dad was responsible for the nose. I walk out seeing Niall hanging around where Louis is, like I said we occasionally talk but it's always awkward, and now everytime we talk it ends up in an argument. Fighting constantly.

"Hey," I say putting on a fake smile tugging at the green jumper I'm wearing. I think it's acutally Louis' jumper. Oh well.

"What happened?" Perrie gapes.

"Oh I was uh jumped by Dallas and his mates. It's no big deal," I shrug casually bushing my hair out of my eyes.

Louis seems to be tense all over then that whore, Eleanor, comes over and hangs all over Louis like usual. I know it shouldn't, but it still makes me insanely jealous.

Louis ignores her his eyes scanning my face. I bite my lip. I really do miss him, a lot actually. My depression and anxiety only keeps get worst, I have more scars than I have ever had. More on my stomach. It hurts so much, but I usually welcome the pain.

"Dallas jumped you?" Louis asks his jaw clenching a little.

"Yea. Like I said no big deal."

"T'll be back," Louis says angrily stomping off toward the toilets.

"Well go after him," Perrie says to me. I sigh and I do find him clenching the sink until knuckles are white, taking deep breaths.

I gnaw on the inside of my cheek not wanting to say anything. Louis looks up in the mirror he shakes his head.

"I'm so sorry," he mutters. "I should have been there to protect you, I'm sorry for so many things."

"We aren't dating it isn't your job to protect me, plus it's not like I get beat up everyday."

"I was suppose to save you," he continues.

"You can't save me from myself," I say under my breath. His head snaps up, he heard me. He turns to me, I tug at my sleeves he shakes his head.

"Have you?" He asks pointing to my wrist. I shrug.
He takes my hand pulling my sleeve up, the one day I decide not to wear bracelets. He reveals the many, many red lines damaging my skin. There is barely one patch of skin on this arm that isn't already marked.

With my other hand I shakily pull up the jumper revealing the more red marks, some scabbing and healing others fresh from this morning. His face his in utter shock, and sadness too. I stare at the ground not having the will to look at him, he grabs my hands.

"You needed me so many times," he sighs. I shake my head denying that I needed him. It's just something I do to rid the pain. "I'm so sorry," he mumbles. He looks close to tears, I pull away only to pull him into a hug he buries his face into my neck his breath fanning over my neck.

I miss him so much. I miss sleeping in the same bed as him his arms wrapped around me my face nuzzled in his neck. Even though we didn't sleep together often I liked when we did. Taking a deep breath his toxicicating scent of cigerettes and a cheap cologne.