He has my heart. L.s.

38

My own hands shake I hear Anne shriek, Niall gasp. Blood is everywhere and a empty pill bottle lays beside him. He's drifting in and out of conciousness. I cradle his head in my lap wrapping his wrists in a towel putting pressure on the wounds. "Niall call an abulance!" I shriek.

"Harry don't do this to me," I plea moving his curls out of his face. His breathing very shallow, almost not. Anne continues to shriek and cry. "Niall get her out of here," I order. Niall nods pulling her away as he calls for an ambulance. "Harry," I whisper kissing his forehead. My own hands shake.
"Harry don't- you can't leave me here like this, not today." I choke back on a sob as he goes limp in my arms. I check for a pulse on his neck, I don't get one. Positioning myself I begin to do the CPR thing and mouth to mouth trying to get him to breathe.
All the while tears slip down my cheeks and I grow shakier I end up getting his blood on my hands, only now do I see the deep cuts on his abdomen I don't know what to do. "Niall!" I scream. He runs in. "His abdomen, put pressure on the cuts!" I order still doing CPR. I only continue crying harder. "Damnit Harry, I told you to call me when you felt like this!" I hear people come up the stairs they take over what I was doing and move Ni out of the way. I turn away not being able too look as they try to revive him. I go to his room, I notice something a note on the nightstand.

I pick it up sitting in the bed.

Dear whoever finds this.

February 20th

I'm so sorry for whoever to find my body. Mum I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm not there to protect you anymore, but I simply couldn't take the beatings of the cruel world. To Dad I would like to say I'm sorry but I know you don't care what happens to me. Gem I wish you the best of luck with school and that airhead boyfriend of yours. Niall thank you, thank you for not giving up. Thank you for listening to me when nobody else would. Thank you for not leaving me when everybody else did.
Niall I'll always keep you in my mind, please just remember me of when I was happy. To my other friends unfortunately you didn't know I was this depressed, truth of the matter is I didn't want you too. I honestly just couldn't take life anymore, while you all were planning to go off to University and looking forward to life I was planning my death. You will never know how many times I thought about jumping off a nearby bridge. You will never know the unbearable pain I felt inside me, the raging demons telling me to kill myself.
The pain that has marked my soul.

Lastly. Louis. I know you are probably a mess and want to bring me back or even join me. I love you, I always will love you. Please don't cry over me, please just let me die I'm not in pain now. Please remember me but don't dwell on me, don't go back to being a complete arse or dealing. You have to see from my point of view that I was just too sad to do anything, I didn't have a bright future in football, or acting, or even photography and filming. I love you my devil, now I will truly be your angel xoxo I love you.

I fold the paper clutching it in my hand. Niall comes in and ushers me to the car we follow the ambulance all the way to the hospital, I cry not caring what Niall thinks. I'm pretty sure he's crying too. We follow as the usher him into ICU amd say something about surgery, or stitches. My knees feel weak and I can't breathe. He's gone.

"Louis?" I hear my Mum say. I didn't even think she would be on shift. She runs toward me as more tears fall faster as I take short gasps for breath.

"He's gone!" I sob. My knees buckle I fall to the floor my head in my shaking hands. I have trouble catching my breath. He's gone. He's not here. Niall is in no better shape, at least he made it to the chairs.

Mum is on the floor holding my shaking body. He's gone, I'll never get to hold him. How could I let him get like this. Mum strokes my hair sitting on the floor with me holding me shing me. "He's gone," I whisper still gasping for breath.