What We Lost

fading ties

We both knew we couldn't stay.

I sit on the couch, resting my eyes. I listen to the movement of Grayson as he packs the food we have left into his bag. I wanted to help. I really did. But the idea of leaving this house.. the one place I trusted for years. It tore me apart. I feel the couch cushion dip as he sits beside me. I open my eyes, looking over at him. His eyes are gentle.

"Do you want to get your stuff from upstairs," he asks me. I feel the color drain from my face. Grayson had discarded the bodies as needed but going up there after what happened seemed like the end of the world. I could still see it in my mind. The man. I swallow, taking a deep breath.

"Yeah." I murmur. His hand briefly touches mine. "I'll pack the weapons. Take your time."

I slowly walk up the stairs, each step creaking beneath me. I reach the top and pause, my hand grasping the railing. I have to do this. I go into my room. My bag is laying on my bed. Room back to how it was before. Grayson had cleaned it up. I smile softly to myself.

And I begin to pack. Again. I grab some random clothes from my closet and shove them in my bag. Then my journal. I grab my pocket knife from my drawer and slip it into my pocket. I take a look around at what I'm leaving behind. Framed pictures are still upon my wall, of me and my old friends- me and Lucas. I walk over to the one of me and Lucas at the downtown icecream shop. I was younger, maybe 12. Holding a large cone of mint chocolate chip icecream. Lucas stands beside me, arm around my shoulder. He had a goofy smile on his face, chocolate icecream on his nose. I smile, feeling my eyes begin to well up. I pull the frame off the wall and flip it over, removing the back. Then I carefully pull the picture out. I hold it in my hands for a few moments. And then I fold it up and put it in my bag. I grab a few other things. I go into my jewelry box and pull out my golden locket necklace. I wore it religiously every day when I was younger, a gift from my mother. When I moved out and started living with Lucas the habit slipped. I put it on around my neck. I had the most important things with me now. I look around at my purple walls, books I never read, my comfortable bed. I will never forget this place.

I finish packing and sling my bag over my shoulder. I step out slowly and close the door behind me. Downstairs, Grayson's waiting for me. He hands me my gun, freshly loaded and ready.

"We will have to start by foot. If we get lucky, we'll find a car with keys still in it." He says, putting the rest of the gear in his pack. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah.." I say, breathing in the smell of the house one last time. He pulls out his gun and we leave through the back door.

We had no destination in mind. We just had to get as far away from the suburbs as possible and aim for an urban place out in the country. We cut through people's yards and begin West. I'm cautious as we walk, keeping a firm grasp on my gun.

"What if we run into walkers?" I ask warily.

"It's early. Most of em' aren't out yet. And when they are, there will only be a few in the direction we're going. They won't all leave the city to follow us." He says reassuringly.

"Were you out a lot.. before you found me? You don't seem worried at all being out here." I smile quizzically.

"I was. Took me a while to get to your neighborhood. I was all the way on the other side of the city. And with all the cars and stuff blocking the streets, it took a long time to maneuver my way out. Lots of walkers. But when there's just two or three it's easy to handle. All you have to do aim for the head with any weapon you have. It's hordes you have to worry about." He explains, leading me along a path and into the forest where we hunted last.

"When did you come across a horde?" I look over at him.

"It was only a few days after the outbreak. Some were still alive trying to escape the city so the walkers kept building up. I made the mistake of firing when I didn't need to. And when you shoot one, they all come running. Their hearing is insane. I barely made it out alive- had to barricade myself into one of the apartment buildings and go up all the floors to the top."
Listening to him tell these stories- I couldn't help but admire him. He was more quick thinking than I would have been in that situation.

"You make it sound like that's not a big deal." I say as we make our way through the brush and jump over a little creek. The more difficult the terrain got, the further away we were from the city. This was good. As he's about to answer there is a quick rustling in the bushes. I hold my gun out, pointing it into the direction of the sound. A figure crawls out from under the bush, gasping and grunting. Its leg was caught on something, keeping it from fully revealing itself. I breathe, hesitating to shoot. She looked almost human. Her features still intact. She was newly infected. Her wide dilated eyes stare back at me painfully. A bullet hits her in the head, and she falls backwards- a low rumbling sound emitting from her throat. Then she fell still. I turn to Grayson who'd shot the bullet.

"We can't keep doing this, Vivian. You can't wait to shoot when you see one. Do you want to get bitten?" He snaps at me. I knew he was right. She was newly infected, but still incredibly dangerous.  The only thing stopping her from ripping me apart was her caught leg.

"I know." I whisper, turning away and moving on. "She just looked.."

He cuts me off. "I get it." He says gently. "The new ones almost look normal at first. The first time I came across one it threw me off."

He continues down the path and I follow. If she was newly infected, this meant she was probably bitten recently. Maybe 24 hours ago. She was a survivor once, like us. The thought made me shudder and I walk closer to Graysons side.

We walk until dark. We got out of the forest, and now we are officially in the country. I glance around, paranoid as we walk on the road.

"Vivian. It's fine." He murmurs.
"It's dark now. Sure, maybe in the country they don't come out as much during the day, but the night is different Grayson." I argue. Despite being frustrated with him snapping at him didn't seem right to me. I sigh, rubbing my eyes.

"If anything comes out I will handle it." He whispers sincerely to me. His eyes gleam beneath the subtle moonlight. I only nod.

After what feels like forever walking, I spot a large red barn in the distance. "Grayson! Look!" I exclaim. He smiles wide and begins running towards it, through the fields. I laugh, chasing after him. We hadn't anticipated the run so just as we reach the barn we hunch over, exhausted.

"I beat you," I pant heavily, lifting my head and smiling at him. Hes too out of breath to respond, he just shakes his head. I look up to the entrance of the barn. The latch was simply closed with a plank of wood. He approaches and cautiously grabs the piece of wood out, throwing it to the side. And then he pulls the heavy red door open.