Anthologies {MIKHAIAH AU}

sugar n spice pt 4/4

A/N : Last chapter to round up this universe! It's a long one :) — let me know your thoughts.

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— AIAH —

Aiah lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling in the dim light of her room, feeling the weight pressing down on her chest that hadn't left since the day she and Mikha had parted ways after Maloi's. The silence in her room echoed everything she hadn't been able to say, every fear that kept gnawing at her. It had been a week now, and she was trying to keep herself busy, trying not to think too much, but it was useless.

Since they'd come back from Maloi's, everything had felt different—heavier. Her mind kept replaying those last moments, the way Mikha had looked at her, waiting for something she couldn't give, something she wanted to give but wasn't brave enough to. She remembered the hurt in Mikha's eyes when she'd asked her to walk the rest of the way home alone. The look had been subtle, but it cut Aiah deeper than she could admit.

She let out a sigh, pressing a hand over her chest, feeling the ache that hadn't eased all week. In that silence, her thoughts returned to all the small moments between them. That night at Maloi's, wrapped in each other under the blanket. The way Mikha's warmth made her feel safe, the way her laugh made Aiah's heart beat just a little faster. But each time she thought of those moments, her mind immediately jumped to her parents, to the fear of what might happen if they found out about her and Mikha. She could almost see the disappointment in their eyes.

There was no way they'd accept it—not her being with a girl, not her living a life outside the path they'd imagined for her. And the thought of them finding out made her stomach twist with dread. She couldn't risk it, but the alternative was tearing her apart too. Every time she thought of Mikha, she felt a tug to reach out, to tell her everything she was feeling. But then the fear would come rushing back.

Her phone vibrated on her bedside table. She reached for it, feeling a faint, foolish hope that maybe Mikha had messaged her again. But it was just a message from a classmate about an upcoming project. She sighed, tossing her phone aside. Mikha hadn't messaged her in days, not since she'd kept dodging their plans to meet up.

The last time Mikha had asked to meet, Aiah had lied, saying she was too busy. She knew Mikha didn't believe her, and honestly, Aiah didn't blame her. But she'd felt paralyzed by her own fears, unable to decide if moving forward with Mikha was worth the risks. She knew it wasn't fair to Mikha. Mikha deserved someone who could be there fully, someone who could love her openly. She knew all this, and yet, she couldn't bring herself to let Mikha go, either.

She turned over, burying her face in her pillow. Her chest ached, and she couldn't shake the feeling that she'd already lost something important—someone who saw her, who accepted her without question. And now, she was pushing that person away because she was too afraid.

A knock sounded at her door, snapping her out of her thoughts. It was her mom.

"Aiah, matulog ka na, anak. Maaga pa ang misa bukas," her mom's voice called softly.

"Opo, Ma," Aiah replied, her voice barely above a whisper. She waited until she heard her mom walk away, then turned back to her thoughts, feeling the weight settle over her again. She wished she could talk to her mom about this. She wished she could tell her everything. But she knew that wasn't possible—not with them, not yet, maybe not ever.

And now, because of that, she was losing Mikha.

The thought made her eyes sting, and she blinked back the tears, curling up tightly under her blanket. She knew she should reach out to Mikha, but what would she even say? That she was sorry? That she wanted Mikha but couldn't promise her the life she deserved? She didn't want to make promises she couldn't keep.