Trilogy 1: Lost

Chapter 5

Elara sat in silence, staring out the window, but her mind wasn't focused on what was outside. The world continued on, people laughing, walking, living, but for her, everything felt like it had stopped. Roel's betrayal echoed in every corner of her mind, and no matter how much she tried to distract herself, the pain was always there, lingering.

She didn't want to see anyone. Hindi siya lumalabas ng bahay, hindi rin siya sumasagot sa mga tawag o messages ng mga kaibigan. Parang ang tanging gusto niyang gawin ay mag-isang malunod sa sakit na nararamdaman. Her heart was broken, and every time she thought of Roel with Raina, a fresh wave of pain would crash over her.

Lagi niyang iniisip, Bakit ganito? Weren't they supposed to be happy? Hindi ba't pareho nilang ipinagdasal na sana magtagal sila? Bakit ako iniwan? She asked herself over and over again, her thoughts spiraling. No matter how hard she tried, the questions never stopped. And each one only made the wound in her heart deeper.

Even though she told herself that she was moving on, she couldn't. Hindi niya kayang magpanggap na okay siya. Every small thing seemed to remind her of Roel—the places they used to go, the songs they used to sing together, the little things that used to make her smile. Parang nawalan siya ng dahilan para maging masaya.

Her cousin, Kiera, would check in every now and then, but Elara would just respond with short, unemotional texts. "Okay lang ako, don't worry." But she wasn't okay. She wasn't okay at all.

"I'm sorry, Kiera," Elara whispered to herself as she sat on her bed. "Hindi ko na kaya."

Her eyes filled with tears, but this time, she didn't wipe them away. She let them fall. She had to let it out. Roel had been her everything, and now she had nothing. His absence was louder than his presence ever was. And she couldn't understand how he could move on so easily, leaving her in the dark.

She spent days in her room, lost in the cycle of pain, frustration, and anger. Her phone was full of messages, calls she had missed. But every time she saw the notifications, she just felt tired. Hindi ko na kayang magpanggap. The people around her tried their best to help, but no one could really understand. They didn't know what it felt like to have someone you loved so much choose someone else over you. They couldn't feel the sting of betrayal, the overwhelming loneliness that she was struggling with.

"Anong nangyari sa amin?" she muttered, her voice cracking as the tears came again. Her chest ached, and for a moment, she couldn't breathe. Every time she thought she had accepted it, every time she told herself to move on, the sadness hit her harder than before. Is he even thinking about me? she wondered. Was he even feeling a fraction of the pain she was going through? How could he just walk away like that?

But deep down, there was this gnawing feeling—this quiet voice telling her that it wasn't just Roel she was angry at. It was herself, too. Maybe she had been too trusting, too forgiving. Maybe she ignored the signs because she didn't want to believe the truth. I should have seen it coming. She bit her lip, feeling the frustration building inside her once again. I should've known better.

Every time she walked past their favorite spots or heard the songs they used to love, the flood of memories hit her hard. She would remember how he'd look at her, how he'd hold her hand, how he used to tell her how much he loved her. Now, it all seemed like a distant dream, something that could've been real but never was.

And yet, despite all the anger, all the heartbreak, there was a part of her that still missed him. A part of her that still loved him. That's what made it all worse—the fact that she couldn't just flip a switch and forget him. She couldn't just erase the love she had for him. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko.

The days blurred together, and Elara found herself retreating further and further from the world around her. She couldn't face anyone, couldn't talk about it anymore. She just wanted to be left alone. Hindi siya ready na makaharap ang mga kaibigan, or even her family. The questions and the hurt were too overwhelming.