The Solar Eclipse I Never Saw

i'm... not single anymore?

Let me explain...

WARNING: 

- I may sound like a homewrecker, a pick-me or even an attention whore but... this is my vent book, these are my experiences. Not yours. You have no idea, what this is on because I'm only sharing details that I feel is ok for me to present to the public eye.

- No name drops haha

- BAD, BAD, BAD GRAMMAR, younglings. But no bad language so carry on.

so over the past month, this guy and i began this sweet little friendship. he was dating a friend of mine and we really hit it off (platonically). we have all these things in common, he's a good listener, he's funny and overall made life 10x easier.

now, because of all of that, we jokingly called each other 'besties' because of how close we've gotten over the past few weeks.

then something hit me... i... kinda like this guy.

now he was dating my friend then and they had something going at the moment and i supported them with everything i have, so i supressed this supposed crush of mine and put EVERYTHING into getting them to reconcile for that single week

like screw it, my girl comes FIRST

long story short, per my request, i prompted him to talk to her but a friggin plot twist came

HE BROKE UP WITH HER FOR GOOD but dont worry, it was on good terms so i had no sides to pick :)

so when my friend broke the news to me i was shocked and a little guilty because i was the one to pester him into talking to her to clear things up

his reasoning was that he feels as though the communication was terrible and it kind of dampened the relationship and stuff but idk, it didn't seem like my place to know

So, for the past 3 weeks, I've gotten closer to both parties and now that that they were over, this rude awakening of a crush is still there

So, I spoke to my good friends, (@ATW10VTVMVFTV: online bestie) and the other girl from my quirky trio irl n they both said go for it but take care

But I must say, they both indicated that I needed to talk to his ex because... girl code, you know

and now, i was there for 2 weeks straight overthinking that my stupid little crush was going to damage years of friendship because there were signs that he reciprocated, i just couldn't act as if I didn't want something between us, you know?

So, this Saturday, as I was scrolling through my Instagram page, I sent him a reel playing saying

'this could be us, but you're not serious'

It was the usual joke but this time it was a tad bit serious

So, he replied back asking how is he unserious (he's a bit ...slow lol, its kinda endearing)

So, i began rambling about how he has better options than me but i kept it vague (thinking back, that was so unneccessary, I swear but it was cannon)

He understood what I meant somehow but wanted further elaboration, so you know what i did?