𝐃𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓 || 𝑺𝑬𝑶𝑲𝑺𝑶𝑶

two

It was never love for Joshua. For him, it was a game—a thrill that came with bending someone’s will and pushing boundaries. But for Seokmin, it had turned into a spiral of mixed-up feelings and painful desire, a flame that kept burning him every time he got too close. He kept trying, desperately, to reach Joshua’s heart, thinking that maybe he just needed to show him more—give him more. But Joshua didn’t see it that way. He never did.

When Seokmin showed up one evening, holding a small box with a carefully chosen gift inside, Joshua glanced at it, eyebrows raised in a bored, almost irritated expression.

“What’s that?” he asked, barely looking Seokmin in the eye.

Seokmin shifted his weight, swallowing back his nerves. “I thought you might like this. It… reminded me of you.”

Joshua took the box with a sigh, flipping it open, then let out a short, dismissive laugh. “This is cute, Seokmin, really.” He tossed it onto the table without a second glance. “But don’t you think you’re trying a little too hard? It’s a bit pathetic, honestly.”

Seokmin felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment, his hand clenching involuntarily. “I just… wanted to show you that I care.”

Joshua smirked, his tone dripping with condescension. “Care? About what? Seokmin, this thing between us—it’s not what you think it is. Stop trying to dress it up as something it’s not.” He leaned in close, his voice lowering with a cruel edge. “You’re here because I want you here. And I don’t need all these little… ‘gifts’ to keep it that way.”

Seokmin’s heart sank, the little spark of hope he clung to fading under Joshua’s cold gaze. But he couldn’t shake the feeling, the need to try again. Maybe if he showed Joshua how much he cared, Joshua would finally—

“Stop looking at me like that,” Joshua interrupted, rolling his eyes. “I swear, Seokmin, you’re too naive for your own good.”

He laughed softly, a sound that twisted something inside Seokmin. It wasn’t warm, or soft, or anything he wanted it to be. It was mocking.

"Look, I’ll say this slowly for you," Joshua continued, his gaze hardening. "This thing we have? It’s physical. Fun. You know, a distraction. Don’t go ruining it by trying to make it more."

Seokmin looked down, his voice barely a whisper. “But… you make me feel like I’m worth something. I thought maybe…”

Joshua let out an exaggerated groan. “Oh my god, Seokmin, do you even hear yourself? You sound like one of those lovesick kids in a drama. Are you really this desperate for affection?” He reached out, trailing a finger under Seokmin’s chin, lifting it so their eyes met. “You’re only worth something because I’ve decided to keep you around. Don’t overthink it.”

Seokmin’s heart twisted painfully, but he nodded, not trusting his voice.

Days later, when Jeonghan made the announcement that he and Joshua were dating, Seokmin felt as though the floor had been ripped out from under him. The room erupted in cheers and laughter, his friends crowding around the new couple with congratulations and admiration. Joshua smiled, beaming at Jeonghan with a tenderness he’d never once shown Seokmin.

When the crowd finally thinned, Seokmin lingered, unsure why he hadn’t left yet. Then he felt Joshua’s gaze settle on him from across the room. A smirk appeared on Joshua’s lips, the kind of smirk that Seokmin had seen countless times—one that knew no shame, no remorse.

Later that night, Seokmin was startled to hear a knock at his door. Joshua was leaning against the frame, looking far too comfortable, as if he hadn’t just declared himself Jeonghan’s boyfriend hours earlier.

“Surprised to see me?” Joshua asked, pushing past Seokmin and entering his room without waiting for an answer.

Seokmin closed the door, his throat tight. “Joshua, why are you here? You’re with Jeonghan now. This… this should be over.”

Joshua’s laughter was harsh, cutting. “Oh, Seokmin, don’t be naive. Just because I’m dating Jeonghan doesn’t mean I’m done with you. You didn’t actually think I’d stop, did you?”

Seokmin’s eyes widened, his voice shaky. “You can’t keep doing this to me. You said… you said Jeonghan likes you. You’re going to hurt him if he finds out.”

Joshua’s face twisted into a mocking grin. “Oh, is that your concern now? Jeonghan?” He let out a harsh laugh, stepping closer until he was right in front of Seokmin. “And what about you, Seokmin? Are you suddenly growing a conscience?”

Seokmin looked down, his voice weak. “I… I don’t want to hurt him either. But it hurts to see you with him, and then have you come back to me like… like none of it matters.”

Joshua scoffed, grabbing Seokmin’s chin and forcing him to look up. “Listen carefully, Seokmin, because I’m only going to say this once.” His voice dropped to a venomous whisper. “You’re here because I want you here. And you’re going to keep quiet about it. You’re going to keep letting me have my fun, and you’re going to pretend this doesn’t bother you. Or else.”

Seokmin’s breath hitched, a tear slipping down his cheek, but Joshua only chuckled, his thumb brushing it away with a cruelty that felt like salt on a wound.

“Save your tears,” Joshua sneered. “It’s embarrassing. You wanted to be useful, right? Well, I’m giving you a purpose. Isn’t that enough for you?”

Seokmin looked away, his voice trembling. “What if… what if I don’t want to be used anymore?”

Joshua’s grip tightened, his face darkening. “You think you have a choice here?” He tilted his head, eyes glinting with something close to malice. “Do you honestly believe anyone would care if they knew? You think Jeonghan would look at you the same way?”

A broken sob escaped Seokmin, his chest tightening painfully. “I… I don’t know.”

“Exactly,” Joshua murmured, leaning in until his words brushed against Seokmin’s skin. “You’re here because I allow you to be. Don’t go thinking you’re something special, Seokmin. You’re a pretty face. That’s all.”

Seokmin swallowed back another wave of tears, nodding weakly as he let Joshua’s words cut deeper into him. Joshua’s fingers slipped under his shirt, his touch familiar yet as cold as ever, taking what he wanted without a hint of hesitation.

And when it was over, when Seokmin lay in the darkness, feeling emptier than he ever had before, Joshua’s parting words echoed in his mind, a haunting reminder of the hold Joshua had over him.

"Remember, Seokmin," Joshua had whispered with a smirk. "You're here because no one else would want you. Be grateful I’m even giving you the time of day."

As the door clicked shut behind him, Seokmin was left alone, broken, wondering how much more of himself he could give before there was nothing left.