𝐃𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓 || 𝑺𝑬𝑶𝑲𝑺𝑶𝑶

five

It had only been a day since Joshua had last seen Seokmin, but already, something felt… off. It wasn’t that he missed Seokmin, Joshua told himself, laughing at the absurdity of the idea. No, he just missed the comfort, the reliability of having Seokmin under his control, bending easily to his every whim. That must be it, he reasoned. After all, Seokmin had always been available—a willing body, someone he could call on and discard at his leisure. He missed how effortlessly Seokmin had surrendered, letting Joshua have anything he wanted.

But then, this creeping restlessness gnawed at him in a way that didn’t feel like just a physical craving. And he hated the unfamiliar sensation. This was supposed to be a clean arrangement—no strings, no feelings. It was supposed to be Joshua’s game, and Seokmin was just one of the many pieces.

So when Joshua saw Seokmin the next day, it should have been a relief, a familiar reassurance. But instead, it left him cold.

Seokmin was with Seungcheol again. They sat alone at a table in the cafeteria, deep in conversation, laughing over some inside joke, as though they were the only two people in the world. Joshua's jaw clenched, his eyes narrowing as he watched them from across the room. They weren’t surrounded by friends, weren’t engaged in any group activity. It was just the two of them. The sight made something twist, dark and unfamiliar, in Joshua’s chest. He tried to shake it off, convincing himself it was just the sight of Seungcheol laughing with Seokmin that bothered him. After all, wasn’t Seokmin his?

No, he told himself quickly, shoving the thought aside. Seokmin wasn’t “his” in that way. Joshua didn’t do “his” or “mine”—not with people, anyway. Yet seeing Seokmin with Seungcheol stirred a peculiar mix of anger and unease. The way Seungcheol leaned in, like he was whispering something only Seokmin was meant to hear, the way Seokmin's eyes lit up in response—it made Joshua’s stomach churn. He clenched his fist under the table, his gaze hard and unyielding. It was like Seungcheol was stealing something from him, something Joshua had always taken for granted as his to claim.

He knew Seungcheol saw Seokmin as a younger brother; Seungcheol had made that clear enough. And Joshua had convinced himself that Seokmin only looked up to Seungcheol, respected him as a senior. But here, watching them, he couldn’t help but notice how different Seokmin looked—happy, almost content, as if he’d found solace in Seungcheol’s presence that Joshua had never seen in their own private moments.

Was this how Seokmin had looked at him once? Had Seokmin’s eyes once held that same admiration, that same quiet yearning, when he thought Joshua wasn’t paying attention?

He shook his head, refusing to believe it, brushing it off. People saw Seokmin with him, too, and thought it was nothing more than a senior looking after a younger friend. But the secret that lay between them was twisted and dark, something he owned, something no one else could touch. And now, with Seungcheol hovering close to Seokmin, it was like he was encroaching on that secret, trying to unravel something that belonged solely to Joshua.

The thought made Joshua’s chest tighten, and a sick feeling of resentment coiled in his stomach. He had never felt this way, not even with Jeonghan. Seeing Jeonghan with an ex, or even with another guy, had never sparked more than a momentary irritation. It didn’t matter; it was almost laughable to think it ever could. But here he was, fuming over Seokmin, because Seungcheol, with his easy smile and protective nature, had somehow intruded on what Joshua thought was exclusively his. Joshua had convinced himself he didn’t care about anything more than Seokmin’s availability, his willingness. And yet now, watching Seungcheol laugh with Seokmin, the lines felt blurred, slipping into something dark and possessive.

It felt personal, territorial even. Joshua hated the thought that Seokmin could be finding solace elsewhere, finding a place where he wasn’t broken down and used at someone’s whim. Seungcheol’s presence threatened to strip away the power Joshua held over Seokmin, and that idea was unbearable.