The promise.

Prologue - Avery.

Dear Jace,

You left, but you never really left. Does that make sense? There was no goodbye, just an absence, sudden, abrupt and louder than any voice could be.
It's been eight years, well eight years 5 months and 24 days to be exact but I remember like it was yesterday, it was the last time I ever saw you.
It was midnight, I was asleep and you came into my room to talk.
"Avery, you know that I love you right?" you asked me.
I knew that, I was your favorite person and you were mine.
"I want you to remember that I love you for the rest of your life" you told me.
You gave me a hug and a kiss on my forehead. You gave me a present, a shiny l necklace in the shape of a raven, having a heart in beak . You were also wearing one, "I'll come back for you, I promise Avery" were the last words you said to me.

The next day I went downstairs, waiting for you on the couch, because I wanted to go on adventures with my big brother, the person I want to be like when I grow up. But it took me too long, so I went outside by myself. I played in the treehouse you made for me in our big garden.
It's still there, Jace. I am still in that treehouse everyday.
But when I came back that day, mom and dad were sitting on the couch telling me to sit down. They told me that you had passed away in a car crash, it felt like I couldn't breathe.
You promised, you promised me to come back for me.
Things have never been the same after that day, you were always there to cheer me up when things got out of hand, you were always there to protect me.
Now I have to remember you for longer than I've known you, I'll spend a lifetime remembering you.

I wish that I could see you again, but I know that I can't. I keep asking, why? Why, you? I can't bring you back, you're not coming back, the promise you made wasn't true. I miss you, I miss you so bad.
Things are so much worse, dad is always mad, I can't do anything right for mom and I am failing school no matter how hard I try.
Not a day goes by when I'm not thinking about you. I think of all the experiences both good and bad I had since you've been gone and it breaks the last solid shards of my heart to know that I will never be able to speak of them with you.
Even after all this time I cannot make sense of the fact that I wake up in the morning you are gone, you are not there to go on adventures with me, making up our own stories, imaging that we are pirates and that we can fight the bad guys, karaoke nights with you, singing along with your favorite songs of the Beatles.
I will never forget the night you went to the daddy & daughter dance at school with me. Dad couldn't care less, and there you were dancing with me and making me laugh.
We discovered our song that night, you always sang it to me after that day. Your favorite song, ''Somewhere only we know'.'
I miss our conversations, I miss your smile, I miss your jokes but most of all, I miss you. I loved to do these things with you, I was seven back then.
Dad and mom are telling me to let you go. How can I let go of you? How can I learn to live without you?
Every loss leaves a wound, I know, but the loss of you has left a wound bigger than all I am or ever will be l will always keep talking about you, you deserve to be remembered Jace, I should've hugged you tighter and longer the last time I saw you. I don't know why the sun is still shining, I hold onto every single memory, because we won't be making anymore.
You didn't say "goodbye" and a part of me believes that means you are coming back, but maybe I have to accept the fact that you aren't coming back, you are gone and never coming back and I am honestly trying my hardest to be okay with that.
I want to tell you about my day, I want to laugh with you about yours. But all the days start and end the same, they all begin and end without you. If I had one wish, it would be for you to be here and it will always be a wish, always. Today is just one of those days, where I miss you terribly and want to talk to you. I hope you can hear me, I really hope that you can.

Love your little sister,

Avery.