FRAGMENTS ; Simon Riley

Chapter 27.

ROSALIE.

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"I was running out of miracles, but then I met you."

I WOKE up with a strong sense of nausea, right in the middle of the night, panting heavily. The dream was still vivid in my memories, and now that I attempted to recall it, everything seemed to turn into a blurred vision.

Tonight, my mind had taken a deep path. It wasn't one of the usual dreams or memories, it was something more intimate and realistic -- a moment that I could still feel burning on my skin.

Deep breaths, everything is going to be fine.

But the little snacks I served myself for dinner seemed to travel up my throat quickly. With panicked steps, I hurried to the toilet, kneeling in front of it and leaning all my body over the bowl, emptying my stomach in one way.

The pain made tears gather in my eyes, blood rushed to my cheeks as I coughed the last remains of my dinner into the bowl.

The past two days spent in the medical wing were awful, I barely ate or closed an eye, barely had time to get out and have a breather, some time for myself. Ever since I last saw Simon, I was stuck with a deep anxiety, numerous thoughts lingered in my mind and the only times I slept, dreams and memories kept crawling back to me.

A few sobs escaped my lips as I rubbed a hand over my lips, cleaning away the drops from my skin, all the while I sat on the cold tiles, shutting my burning eyes. What was keeping me away from him?

I just wanted to be back in his arms, talk to him, tell him that I remembered. At the same time, I wondered.. why hadn't he tried to get to me?

I spent the remaining hours taking a warm shower, washing away the stress and tiredness, but most of all, the negativity that was starting to weigh on me. As soon as it struck six, I changed into my thermal uniform, light enough to allow me to run freely. There was no snow today, it had melted in the previous days, and now the paths were clear.

Tying the laces of my boots and fixing my hair into a ponytail, I walked out of my room, greeting a few passing soldiers on the way. Even though it was going to be a free day for me, I decided to skip breakfast, as I was afraid I would throw that up too.

 I went out into the large field, walked around the perimeter until I reached the exit into the woods, which were also guarded by our soldiers.

With my headsets in my ears, I started a calm jog into the soft light of that early morning.

I tried in every way to chase away the thoughts, but they returned like shadows and at the first image of him that appeared, I slowed my steps, almost slipping on the damp ground. "Damn you." I muttered under my breath, frustration lingering in my tone.

By now, he was poisoning my life.

He was mere feet away from me, in the same base, walking my same steps into the rooms -- yet he felt so distant, unapproachable. And it was nearly driving me insane.

That's it.

I didn't even think twice, my feet went back and I found myself walking through the corridors of the base, thinking of the only places where I could find him. What if he was with her? Couldn't be. I still had to figure out who was Claire to him.

I tried a few meeting rooms, and eventually found him in the courtyard smoking a cigarette with a cup of coffee, alone.

He was dressed in black, with a warm grey jacket, the UK flag on one arm. His usual mask was pushed up over his nose, so he could smoke and drink without any problems. "Are you avoiding me?" I didn't even greet him properly, I jumped right to the point, and it seemed to get him off guard.

Simon turned his head towards me, his hazel irises locking into mine. He pressed his lips into a thin line, before finally answering me, "Why would I?"

For a moment, I felt relieved.

"You.. stopped talking to me after what happened at your house." I leaned against the wall next to him, tucking my hands into the pockets of my jacket. "Should I have a reason to talk to you?" He questioned, a bit amused, bringing the cigarette to his lips.

The smoke twirled into the freezing air around us, and I scrunched my face at the horrifying smell. "Something happened between us and you can't deny it, Simon." I retorted, obvious.

Why was he trying so hard to avoid the subject?

And like a flash, his serene expression darkened at my words. He threw the cup in the trash and found his figure looming over mine, his chest in front of my face. "I'm sorry if I never made it obvious, sergeant," He spoke lowly, his threatening tone sending shivers all over my body.

I was right to think that it was not the right time to reveal to him what I knew and remembered.

"First of all, we're in a military base and I'm Lieutenant Riley to you--Ghost, if we're working in a mission together," His tone was harsh, mean, as if he were talking to one of the recruits. "Second, what happened?"

I gulped down a lump, never bringing away my gaze from his. A wave of nausea washed over my stomach, my heart ached. "We.. slept tog-"

"What happened."

It wasn't a question.

"..nothing, sir."

Simon took a long drag from his cigarette, exhaling the smoke through his nose before pulling down his mask, discarding the cancerous stick under his feet. "Good, I hope I don't need to repeat myself." He hummed in approval, oblivious to the real reason I wanted to talk to him.

"Why are you acting this way?" I suddenly blurted out, on the verge of losing it all.

If I was his wife, why was he treating me this way? Why was he pushing me away? What was he hiding so bad? Why was he confusing me?

"I don't understand what you're talking about, Nova."

I closed my eyes for a moment, blinking away the tears that were slowly forming. I was about to say it, but a sweet feminine voice broke the silence instead. "Simon?"

Not again, please.

"Oh, Rosalie." Claire greeted me with one of her kind smiles, clasping her hands behind her back. "Quick meeting before the mission, ten minutes. Price is looking for you." With a small nod, Simon thanked her quietly and brushed off her presence, redirecting his attention on me. For once.

"You heard her, sergeant. Let's move on."