FRAGMENTS ; Simon Riley

Chapter 31.

ROSALIE.

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"The intimacy of being understood."

"PLEASE.. say something." My words hung heavily in the air, my hands trembled at my sides. It was as if time had stopped, as if his tongue had been torn out and all emotions had been stolen except shock. He stood there, staring at me as if he had seen a ghost, pale. I felt the urgency to shake him, to make him come to his senses and answer me because I couldn't take this story anymore.

I had fallen into an abyss, where I simply wanted to be at peace with my senses, in the arms of my husband. I wanted to repair everything that had been lost, all the lost years of our marriage, of the dream and the family that we would've wanted together.

Since the day I arrived, I had a soldier in front of me, a man who hid behind a mask and pushed me away from him. But I could see it in his eyes that he was hiding pain, that he was forcing himself to push me away. And for what reason? 

And what felt like an eternity, one of his feet sunk into the snow, his body trying to get closer to me.

There was a constant ache in my chest, tears welling up in my eyes, my heart running a marathon. "Rosalie, what did you just say?" His tone held hurt, pain, longing, and something else I couldn't make out.

"I remember it all. Everything. I remember us, what we had and still have. I remember you." Each word was a step closer to him, until we were inches apart, my head raised to meet his eyes, as he looked down at me.

So damn tall.

We were so close yet so far away.

He was nothing less than the love of my life, the only person who understood me and wanted me for who I really was. It hurt me to think that all these years I had no memory of us. I couldn't begin to imagine what it was like for him to see me so calm, with no idea that he was my husband.

I wanted to apologize a thousand times and make up for lost time.

I hadn't noticed that I started crying, til his gloved hand cupped my cheek and brushed away a hot tear. "Unbelievable.." He whispered shakily, before he unclasped his helmet, throwing it on the ground together with his balaclava.

My husband, there he was.

So strong, so sure of himself. An admirable man who went through hell and back again. 

With no second thoughts, his lips crashed on mine with urgency, love, longing, everything. I could feel all his emotions through a kiss, his hands cupping my cheeks and pulling me closer until there was no space between us. "Fuckin' hell, I never thought.." He spoke against my lips, unable to tear himself away.

"..your memories would come back." He ended the sentence. It was so hard to keep up with his pace, yet even I couldn't pull away. Not when he knew the truth and I remembered everything.

"I miss you." I whispered, letting free all my tears, wetting his gloved hands. "You have no idea how much I've missed you." He whispered back, tone cracking slightly. And I couldn't blame him for getting emotional.

Forcefully, I pulled away, my hands grasping his wrists, our eyes connected. I didn't know what to say to him, I was the cause of our ruined marriage, of the two years spent alone. I had put him through hell, my parents had distanced me from him by taking advantage of my condition -- something I would never forgive them for.

"You sure do have a timing for news." Amidst the silence, he finally spoke in a light tone, a smile curling up on his lips. It has been too long since I last saw some sincerity on him. It was the same smile I had fallen in love with, over and over again.

I let out a little laugh and shook my head, "You're to blame for always pushing me away." I retorted.

"I tried my best, but it was for you. I would've jumped on you already if it wasn't for your memory loss." He brushed a strand of hair behind my ear, tenderly, his eyes never leaving mine. "The day you woke up at the hospital, every time I was around you'd get strong migraines."

Now it explained all the times I had migraines after dreams or dejavus.

"So your parents thought about bringing you back to your hometown, without telling me, so you could heal safely and well." There was a hint of pain in his tone, "And I'm so grateful that you're here now. I was begging for a chance to ever see you again, and guess I've got it. Because-- God, the day I saw you in our team.."

A few snowflakes fell on his hair. It had just started to snow and the captain's voice rang in my ears. And only then we were reminded of the mission ongoing. "Fuck.." Simon murmured, grabbing his helmet and balaclava before fixing them back on. He turned his back towards me, his steps already dragging him back on the path as he spoke quietly into the intercom.

I followed after, quickening my pace before I tugged his uniform, holding it while walking behind him.

The whole way there, no one said a word, he was too busy on the intercom, exchanging informations with the captain, while my mind was flying on endless thoughts. And in that moment I remembered her, that damned woman. Claire. I felt there was more to remember, because she wasn't just a vacant memory.

I was brought back to the keys she had to our apartment, to the photos that once hung there that weren't on the walls anymore, to her wandering so peacefully through a house that wasn't hers, as if it had always been hers instead of mine.

I thought about her being so damn attached to my husband, and Soap's words. What if that was really the case?

I stopped suddenly, letting his uniform slip from my fingers. What was truly going on?

(A/N: short chapter because I don't want to spoil the entire book so early. Hopefully I'll find other evenings to keep writing, but I'm not quitting this fanfic because it's in my heart already! Love, Aryssa)