¹THE HUNGER GAMES ▸ REPUGNANT

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙀𝙡𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 - 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙎𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙙 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜

THE THOUGHT OF facing death once more didn't fill me with fear like it did the first time. In fact, the emptiness I felt after losing Rue left me numb to any impending danger. Rue was my only reason for carrying on in that brutal arena. The loss had left a profound void in my life.

She had been my anchor, the reason I persevered through the brutality of those harrowing experiences. After her death, it seemed as if all motivation to survive had evaporated. Without Rue, I found myself questioning the purpose behind enduring the violence and despair for a second time. She inspired me to keep fighting, even when all hope seemed lost. But now that she is gone, I struggle to see the point in continuing.

The spark that kept me going has been extinguished, leaving me in the darkness, adrift in a sea of despair.

However, I never noticed that the solution for my anguish had been right in front of my face this whole time. 

Harvey, a fellow victory whom I've known for a while, but never truly connected with, has unexpectedly become my new friend. The night we both cried together over our impending fate, something shifted within me. A newfound hope. Something new to keep me going.

He has become my new reason to fight, my motivation to survive. In that moment of vulnerability Harvey and I shared, I realized that my resolve should be to continue fighting for Rue. 

While my initial motivation was rooted in grief and loss, it had now evolved into honoring Rue's memory and for Harvey's safety and well-being.

Harvey reminded me of Ben in a way. 

Nothing can replace Ben, that is an empty hole in my heart that can never be filled again, but Harvey was rather something to fill that hole, to motivate me to keep moving. 

When I step into that arena once more, my heart will be heavy with grief and longing for Rue, but will be filled with the presence of Harvey by my side, filling in the holes. 

Deja vu washed over me when I found myself standing in a clump of 18 year olds from the Seam.

This time, we didn't look at each other, we didn't even glance at each other. I was grateful. I felt that if I were to look into the pitiful eyes of these people I've known for years, I would burst into tears. They must've known that too.

The place wasn't tense. Everyone knew the female that would be chosen, and everyone knew the two males that might be chosen.

While the mayor was giving his usual speech he does every year, I couldn't help but think about the way I handled the news about the Quarter Quell. My erratic flight, the screaming, drinking with Richard. Given the circumstances, I guess I deserve one day of indulgence.

I'm glad the cameras weren't here for it, though. The Reaping only takes a minute. Effie, shining in a wig of metallic gold, lacks her usual verve.

 She has to claw around the girls' reaping ball for quite a while to snag the one piece of paper that everyone already knows has my name on it.

Even though I knew for the past couple months that I would hear my voice wash out over the District, that didn't stop the lump in my throat from dropping down into my chest. I stood frozen for a beat too long before I moved.

My heart was hammering in my chest, but I forced my face to remain neutral. I could feel eyes bulging into the back of my head, everyone watching. I stepped onto the stage before glancing around.

In the crowd, I spotted Richard and Harvey, both looking a little unsteady, though I assume the reason for Richard being unsteady was quite different from the reason for Harvey being unsteady.

Harvey and I locked eyes. I gave him a small smile, for which he tried to return, but couldn't.

I wasn't sure this time who I wanted to go into the Games with. At first, I wanted it to be Harvey so that Richard would be safe, but now?

I want it to be Richard. He hates his life anyway, and he is already on the verge of dying from old age. 

Harvey has to live, and I know that neither of us would be fine after watching the other die.

My prayers were answered when Richard's name was called out. I silently thank God for having mercy on Harvey. I watched Richard make his way up the stage, but two words that echoed out in the square stopped Richard right before he made his way up the steps.

"I volunteer." A hoarse-sounding voice spoke up.

It was Harvey

[𝐀/𝐍]: 𝐂𝐨𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐊𝐨𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐲 (𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐂𝐨𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐊𝐨𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨 😍)

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝟖 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐝𝐮𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐮𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐈 𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝟏𝟎𝟎 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐬. 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤, 𝟏𝟎𝟎 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝟏𝟐 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬? 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐰𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞! 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐈 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦. 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝟏𝟎𝟎 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐬!