diary of a teenage girl

Chapter 10: Winter Girl (James' pov)

December 19th

I wake up realizing I've laid in a bed that's not my own. I let myself fall asleep next to Iris. I run my hands through her hair, placing my hand on her jaw and placing her head on a pillow. She turns and I fear I've woken her up. "James, where are you going?" She mumbles. I have a feeling she's still half asleep. I lean down to kiss her head. "I'll be back," I tell her, and I lay a pillow in my place to imitate me.

My hair looks a mess, so I run my hands through it and rub my eyes. I want to wake up with her every morning. I like seeing her face every time I open my eyes. I partly regret falling asleep next to her, since I know her father wouldn't allow it. I look at her bathroom. She has light pink tiles in her shower, a glass door, marble counters, and a gold faucet that sticks out of the wall. Although her apartment is tiny, it is beautiful.

She has an oval mirror with a vintage gold picture frame around it. On her mirror there is writing in lipstick I hadn't noticed before. "Your mom is a part of you. Can't you see her when you look in the mirror?" I know it's for Iris, but I look in the mirror and see my father. My tight jaw, hair that falls in a part, and upturned lips, but the only thing that resembles my mother is my eyes.

Although hers are dulled. They lost the life I always remembered as a child. It wasn't her who changed, it was the way I viewed her. Lifeless and a shadow of the mom I wanted so badly as a child. I pull my eyes from the mirror and resume looking at her decor. She has a small flower pot of David, holding pink tulips. I guess David likes pearls because her necklaces are draped on his neck. "This is a good look for you," I think as I drag my eyes to her other jewelry holder.

A porcelain seashell. Now this is something I probably shouldn't touch, it looks very delicate. Her jewelry is tossed lazily into this white shell. Turn around, looking at the picture on her door. It looks like her, but it isn't. "Miriam Blanc . . ." I read quietly as I ran my fingers over the pasted piece of paper with her name on it. This is her mother.

Her hair is jet black, and it doesn't hold as much volume as Iris'. Her face is somehow even smaller than Iris'. She must be sixteen in this picture. She has a red undertone in replacement of Iris' warm yellow undertone that makes her face look so soft. Miriam's face is softer but looks essentially the same. Iris has strong features that make her look like Adriana Lima, but her mother has soft baby-like features.

She has blue eyes more than green. I spot the wilted baby's breath flowers on her nightstand and toss them in the trash on my way out. No way, not for Iris. I get in my car and drive on the snowy roads to the flower shop on Maple Drive. I park my car by the sidewalk and walk quickly inside. I set my hands on the counter where a young teen girl sits watching TikTok and slam my hand on the counter, grabbing her attention.

She stares at me with wide eyes. "I need a pink and white baby's breath arrangement, please," I say impatiently. "Sorry sir, but my break is in like thirty minutes so I can't." She tells me. "What? Your break is in thirty minutes, meaning you are still supposed to be doing your job right now." I tell her as she sighs. "Please, sir I wanna get some coffee, will you please please just go to the farmers market or something?" She begs.

"The farmers market is an hour away." My volume slowly increases. "Come on, I just want coffee and cheese Danish." She groans. "Fine, give me your order, and when I come back in fifteen minutes my bouquet better be here. A coffee and cheese Danish should cost about fifteen dollars so I'll pay whatever's left of the cost of the bouquet. Send me a Venmo request or something, my username is James J. Madden."

"What does the J stand for?" She asks. I sigh impatiently. "Jack." She hands me a slip of paper with her order on it and I walk to the coffee shop. I go to the hive and recite the order to the guy at the counter. "Hey, James," Hikaru says from behind me. He lays an arm on my shoulder. "Oh, hey Hikaru," I say, and realize Aspen is working at the counter.