The Book Of Me & You

"Instead Of Putting This Stake In My Chest"

Her thoughts were scattered and pained, floating freely through the darkness behind her closed eyelids. She twitched slightly, hearing a low thud from somewhere nearby. Groaning out for him, "R-rick-" she paused, taking a moment to cough through the discomfort. Her eyes were still closed, but she heard his scurried footsteps and the cracking in his voice as he whispered, "I'm here," while stroking his fingers against her forearm. They were warm against her cold skin.

Another round of rough coughs felt like broken pieces of gravel scrapping against her throat; blinking rapidly to adjust to the darkness of the room. His teaful smile was the first thing she saw as he leaned in and placed light kisses on every visible part of her face. The affection was comforting.

"What happened?" Amy was still slightly disoriented and confused: the last thing she remembered was a cry before everything started to get fuzzy. She heard him speak through an intense throbbing on the left side of her head: like someone had hit her with a hammer.

The frown on Ricky's face as he spoke, "You hemorrhaged...during delivery" caused her face to go slack; her eyes tearfully landing on the purple tape bound tightly against his left arm. His eyes traveled with hers, "You were going into shock and losing so much blood - it was awful... I was so scared I was going to lose you... I couldn't let them give up on you, not yet. They were asking for me to let John give you blood; said he was a perfect match... but he's too little, and I couldn't - I couldn't let them so... I gave them mine." His swallow was rough, bracing the hand she reached out to him, "I d-didn't care how much they needed; take it all. Anything as long as it brought you back to me. To us."

Craning her neck to pull him to her, she felt like she'd smacked into a boulder; a pain so sharp ripping through her right side it nearly took her breath. His eyes widened at her gasp, as she pulled the cover up to examine herself: a thick white patch of gauze tapped heavily above her pelvis, along with the small bandages littered across her abdomen, concerning her, "What's this?"

The gentle pats he placed against her hand signified that it wasn't good. "They took you into emergency surgery - after they kicked me out of the room, that is - The doctor said your appendix ruptured while you were in labor."

Ruptured? Labor? Huh? The swallow was painful, involuntary, fighting back the tears stinging her eyes as she looked into his; the pain and anger behind them, stabbing through her, before she closed them - fearful of the sentence he would utter that would kill her; break her into a million tiny pieces, with a stroke of his thumb across her hand. The dark bruises splayed across his knuckles, only adding in her pain as she mumbled weakly, "What about the baby.... is it..."

Without pause, he shook his head quickly, "No..." The air was replenished into her lungs before it was stolen again by his tearful explanation about their child. "She's uh- she's, uh... her odds aren't good. The infection it - it traveled to her lungs while still inside, and - and she's got - she's got a ventilator helping her breathe..."

She... They had a daughter! John had a little sister! She and Ricky created a beautiful little girl!

What if she had his dimples and her eyes? Or her smile and his curls? Would she look like John did or favor one of them more?

Ricky's sniffle, and the squeeze of her hand broke the trance: his red and puffy eyes making her heart break at the sounds of his weeping into the still silence, "She's so small..."

The pounding was back, both in her head and in her heart. Each hiccupping breath he took, breaking a small piece of her.

Reaching for him, his face became fuzzy; blending into the light until he became just a blur. "Ricky?" She mumbled out, reaching for him to no avail as the darkness consumed the room, and he was gone again.