The Book Of Me & You

"Silver Line, Part Of Me Is Sinking Now"

Previously on The Book Of Me & You...

B-Ben!" Was the last thing she remembered saying before static filled her ears and everything went black. The next time she came to, he was on top of her, moaning and panting; his image obscured by black specks and blur.

"No!" Was all Amy could say, repeatedly shaking her head and taking a step back.

Ben sighed, reaching out again, but this time to touch her shoulder, "Amy, please let me -"

She recoiled instantly, shoving his hand away, "NO! Don't touch me!" Her eyes were beginning to well up with tears, seeing those eyes that she once remembered were gentle and kind, now being replaced with the image of darkness from that night. She swallowed hard, continuing to shake her head, "Not after what you did..." before turning and walking away as fast as she could.

Tossing the five baby wipes she used in the trash, she put her back on her hip and handed her an empty lipstick tube sticking out of her purse: not expecting that when she pulled the tube out, an unused tampon would drop to her feet. Seeing it, her breath hitched - had she used one since...

Shaking her head again, "No, no, no, no..." Amy moved Emma from her left hip to her right and rooted for her phone, pulling it out and quickly scrolling through as she counted aloud, "Six... Seven... Eight... Nine..." Pausing, she gulped hard and bit her lip, "Shit!"

Rushing to her side, Ricky let her collapse into his chest, shushing her cries with a gentle slide of his hand across her back and tightening on her shoulder. "Hey - whatever it is... We can get through it -"

Amy squeezed her eyes shut, grasping onto his shirt for dear life as she uttered the dreaded words aloud, "... Ricky... I'm late..."

Taking some time to process everything, he stayed silent on the verge of biting his nails as they drummed against his lips. After about a minute, he glanced down at his hands and hesitantly muttered the question, plaguing his thoughts, "Is it - is it mine?"

"What do you think!" She roughly replied, clenching her fists at her sides as she fought the urge to throw one of John's stuffed animals at the wall. She was so angry at herself that she wasn't thinking clearly. His question was valid, and he had every right to think that that potential child wasn't his. She knew it, but it still made her angry that he would even ask.

Putting his hands up in surrender, Ricky's tone got even lower, shame in his voice for even bringing up the question, "I didn't mean to upset you... but the last time we went through this, you were way later than nine days... and with you having - had - a boyfriend in New York, I -"

Amy's eyes widened at his assumption, hurt that he thought so little of her morals, "You what? You think it's not yours? You think I just hopped into bed with someone I hardly knew?" Scoffing at his shrug, "I wouldn't do that, I'm not you!" Immediately after the words left her lips, she regretted them because the look on his face stabbed her. "I - I didn't mean -" She tried to walk it back, grabbing at the air as he huffed slightly and stomped out of the room, "Ricky, I -"

Without a word, he shook his head and plucked the whiny baby out of the playpen, grabbed the diaper bag and his keys, and slammed the door behind them.
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Five.

That's how many times he'd gone by that aisle.

It didn't feel real, and he didn't want it to be. Not now, anyway. Yes, he wanted more kids, but he also wanted the kids they already had to grow up a little bit more before bringing another baby into the chaos.