The Book Of Me & You

"Had Some Ghosts In my Closet... I Had To Set Free"

There it was. The truth; spurting out in hiccups of saliva from a tongue begging to push it back. The burden of her secret crashing down as she crumbled to the floor, hugging her knees to her chest, screeching between harsh breaths, "I'm sorryyyyy!"

His mouth was agape, unbelieving of the words that fell from her lips - a miscarriage? A dead child? What? But having no time to dwell, he acted; kneeling beside her and wrapping his arms around her shaking body, he swallowed the cry buried in his throat, "Shhh..."

She shook her head repeatedly, gasping for breath between hard sobs, "I'm sorry - I wanted to t-tell y-you, I just -"

His eyes met hers, tears starting to gather in them, "Just what? When - when did this happen?"

Gulping, Amy put her hand on his arm as it shook, her voice barely above a whisper, "... In New York..."

Ricky's chest constricted, "W-what -" face falling ashen as he loosened his grip on her, "You - you knew you were pregnant with MY baby when you left for New York and didn't tell me?"

"No! I didn't know I was pregnant when I left I -"

He rose quickly, taking several steps back, his left hand on his face, "But you knew you'd lost our child while you were in New York, right?" She nodded slowly. His breathing increased, now becoming angry, pointing at her, "You knew... you knew my - our - child was dead and didn't have the decency to tell me!"

"Ricky, I -" She pleaded, grabbing for his wrist but catching nothing but air, her lip wobbling, "I swear I -"

Taking a few more steps back until his back was against the door, "No... no... please." It was getting harder to breathe, his lungs feeling like a balloon being pricked by a needle. He couldn't even look at her; he couldn't even bear to see her eyes or see the tears cascading down her cheeks. He needed away from her, before his anger overtook him, and he punched a hole in the wall.

"Ricky! Ricky, please don't walk out - you do it all the time!" She choked, sniffling against her knees, raising her head just enough to see the rage in his eyes.

"That's because it stops me from saying things you don't want to hear!" He boomed, tugging on his curls, "I - I need some air. I just - I can't even stand to look at you right now, Amy." His words were harsh, venomous, "I've taken a lot of hits because of your selfishness... but this -" He swallowed, his voice cracking, "This is by far the worst. I don't - I don't think this can be forgiven..." And with that, he grabbed the door and yanked it open, slamming it shut behind him and sprinting towards the stairwell.

Still on the floor, Amy hung her head and continued to sob into her hands; the soft cries floating from the bedroom chorusing her own and willing her to get up.

Padding slowly into the bedroom, she swiped her cheeks with the back of her palm, nestling beside them on the mattress. Rubbing her fist to her eye, Emma sat up quickly, fussy whimpers trying to break through her pacifier plugged lips. Amy slid her hand across her back, "Shhh, it's okay, Peanut." Craning her neck to kiss her little fingers, "Mommy's here..." And then again, "Mommy's always gonna be here." Another kiss, stroking the top of the infant's hand.
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Six potholes.

Five stop signs

Four pedestrians at a crosswalk, about to cross the street

Three children hopped out of a minivan door in a crowded parking lot

Two adults holding hands on a sidewalk

And then one heartbroken man trying to breathe through a crater sitting on his chest; drowning under the sinking despair swallowing and trapping him under it.