Touch Not My Heart (BeyMala)

7. "SCREWED!"

Beyoncé's P.O.V.

Megan had been talking to me about the woman she's dating who had a "ninety days rule" for the longest. I had no clue the woman was Onika though! I almost had a silent heart attack when I saw her while I was out with Kamala. Yes, I was single and didn't owe an explanation to anyone. But the shit was still awkward and uncomfortable as fuck!

Fortunately, Megan didn't really trip over it. I mean, she did make me text her the names of all the other women I messed with just in case things didn't work out with Onika. The names I could remember anyway! Y'all know Onika had to remind me of what her name is when we ran into each other at the mall.

As for Kamala, Onika's dramatic words about me didn't faze her. Neither was she fazed about me being uninterested in having a girlfriend or wife. She accepted that my lifestyle was her fault. But she was up for the challenge of changing my mind.

I have to admit, she captivated me with her beauty that night. I tried to be as nonchalant with her as possible. But her fine ass was making it difficult to play hard to get. And bringing me those red and gold roses had me feeling all soft and shit....Of course I didn't let her know all that though!

And how did she know Capital Grille is my favorite restaurant? She didn't ask me where I wanted to eat, but she surprised me. I have to admit that Kamala has "mad rizz" as my nephew, Jules, would say. But I was trying desperately to focus on being careful. Even though she definitely wasn't playing about divorcing Doug.

"That was nice of you to give him closure after everything that happened", I said to Kamala on the ride back to my place from the restaurant.

"I needed closure too actually. We made our apologies to each other and now I'm at peace. I hope he is too", she said.

"Can't lie, if I was Doug it would take years for me to get back on track. I could tell by the way he was acting outside of Taraji and Fantasia's house that he really is in love with you deep!", I exclaimed.

She chuckled. "Doug is not the type of dude that refuses to show emotion as you saw firsthand. That was actually one of the things I loved about him. But as they say, when a person doesn't get attention at home they go looking for it elsewhere. Is it right? No. But it's still true. I pushed him away a long time ago..."

"Kamala....answer this honestly. When I met you, you said you fell out of love with your husband because he cheated. But are you sure you didn't fall out of love with him before that actually happened?", I boldly asked her.

She sighed. "After I found out we wouldn't be able to  conceive children together, I just didn't feel close to him anymore. And what's crazy is, I can't even explain why. It's like, I started feeling like I didn't want to be married. I felt like....Maybe I belonged with a woman. Because the benefit of being married to a man was supposed to be the fact that I could at least have babies with him. I would be able to give my parents the grandbabies they wanted and live a normal life. Or at least what society tells us is normal", Kamala confessed.

"Damn....you really had it rough", I said.

"Yeah....then, after we had our situation and you got tired of my double minded ass, I became even more distant from Doug. I was depressed as hell", she said.

"I just couldn't deal with not being your number one, Kamala. Especially since you kept saying you were in love with me. I wanted you to back your words up with action" I told her.

"I know. It hurt like hell when you stopped messing with me, but you did the right thing. I just hate that now you don't want to settle down with anybody as a result of me breaking your heart. Which I never meant to do by the way, Beyoncé", she stated sincerely.