#FreakshowFriday

Chapter 33: Stay

October 19, 2023

Nathan isn't the slightest bit surprised Jamie could outrun the Doctor on Poveglia. Even when merely speed-walking, she's fast as hell. She charts a course through narrow alley after narrow alley without apologizing to the tourists she shoves past.

Although she may give off the impression she's rushing with an important destination in mind, Nathan knows she isn't heading anywhere in particular. These streets he doesn't recognize, and he already expects they'll get terribly lost trying to make their way back to their hotel.

But that's of marginal importance right now.

He only manages to catch up to Jamie once they reach an area where the crowds start thinning, allowing him to make significant strides. The last alley leads them to a tiny old square, quiet and largely devoid of people at this hour. Maybe the dull ache of his wound or the lingering fatigue in his system are the cause, but Nathan is ashamed to admit he's out of breath.

"Jamie, slow down for one second, please," he pants. "I don't seem to be... at my fittest tonight..."

"Nate?" Jamie turns around to face him, eyes wide and watery. Her situational awareness must've gotten dialled down so much she never noticed him following. It's a miracle she even remembered to grab her coat before leaving the restaurant. "What are you– what are you doing here?"

Her voice is all strangled, thick with panic and frantic emotion. What are you doing here? As if Nathan would just stay seated at their table, finish his dinner, have a laugh with Gino while at it. She isn't thinking rationally enough to recall he could never do such a thing.

"Making sure you're okay. I know you said you were done with everyone, but I'm, uh... I'm kind of hoping that didn't include me." Nathan approaches her tentatively. "If you really need to be alone, I'll respect it, but I don't think you should be."

Just yesterday, his mind and past had him convinced he was a hazard to Jamie. That his mere presence could jeopardize her in the most lethal of ways, that he was the worst thing that could've happened to her. Now, Derek's treacherous, cruel whispers are absent. Nathan hasn't felt the Doctor's presence all day, and even if being around Jamie paints a target on both their backs, he sees he couldn't possibly be the biggest danger, the worst thing in her life. Not when there's so much shit in it that's worse.

The whole damn world is a vicious place. Life isn't always kind. No matter how much Nathan might want to, he can't shield Jamie from its harshest horrors, can't protect her from everything that hurts. But he can be there for her and ease the pain when it's all too intense for her to handle by herself. It may not be much, in the grand scheme of things, but small acts of love and support can make hardship just a little more bearable. Make life feel like it's still worth living.

Nathan started understanding this some six months ago.

"No, you– you can stay. Please stay."

"I will. I'm here. Not going anywhere."

"I fucked this up so bad." Jamie wipes at her eyes as if it might stop the tears welling up. It just about ruins the painstaking makeup job that was the one thing Nathan had no clue how much time to allot for on average as they sat and planned their day. "Saying all of that, making a scene in public, on Stella's birthday, I... Oh my god, if they didn't already hate me, they will now-"

"Jamie."

"–what was I thinking? I just, I didn't mean to, but I couldn't... This... None of this would've happened if I wasn't too pathetic to answer a simple question."

"You're the furthest thing from pathetic." Nathan gently places his hands on her shoulders to keep her steady. "You wanted to talk about it another time. Your mom had too much to drink and disrespected a simple boundary you tried to set repeatedly. That's on her. If your family is too blind to see that, they need a serious reality check. This wasn't in any way your fault."