Hopeless Shadow

Chapter 9 - Who is She?

"I want to meet you, Choi Soobin."

As if struck by a thousand volts of electricity, Soobin immediately lifted his face. His irises widened. He couldn't have heard wrong—this girl in his arms had definitely called his name.

Confused, he pulled away, releasing his embrace. "You... can see me?" he asked, his face full of questions.

There was no answer. His brows furrowed in bewilderment. "Hey?" Soobin touched the girl's shoulder, and of course, his hand could only pass right through her. "Please answer me, can you see me?"

Still, no response. It seemed that Yerin truly couldn't see Soobin.

A thousand questions attacked his mind. He was sure that Yerin had just called his name. So, she knew him when she was alive? When? What was their relationship? Why did she look so sad and say she wanted to meet him? Was she the one who hadn't accepted his death? Soobin felt frustrated because he still couldn't remember anything.

Then he saw Yerin lift her face, wiping away her tears with both hands. After doing that, she quickly stood up, walking out of the room and down the stairs.

Soobin, still unable to process what had just happened, instinctively followed behind her, trailing the girl as she entered her room. Soobin wanted to use this opportunity to learn more about Yerin.

He thought he knew the girl well, but just like his lost memories, and just like not even knowing himself, Soobin knew nothing about her. He didn't even realize that Yerin had known him when he was alive. How foolish.

Yerin was cleaning herself in the bathroom, while Soobin sat pensively on her bed, once again questioning his existence.

Who was he? Who was this girl really? Why couldn't he remember anything?

Damn his head. Why couldn't any memories come back? No matter how hard he tried, no memories from his life appeared. He didn't even have anyone to ask about it.

While mulling over this, Soobin's peripheral vision caught something that immediately drew his attention—something placed on Yerin's desk. It was a piece of a photo tucked inside a book. Soobin moved closer to get a better look.

The photo only showed half of it. He could recognize some faces from his class, but they looked a little younger. Soobin tried to see the other side of the photo, but it was blocked by the closed book.

He moved his hand to try opening it. His first attempt failed. Then the second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth attempts all failed. After a dozen tries, he was about to give up but couldn't shake his curiosity. He convinced himself that he could open it. So, closing his eyes, he gathered all his hopes and strength to open the thick book.

And he succeeded.

Soobin shouted in joy, not expecting his efforts to finally bear fruit.

His eyes immediately focused on the photo, which had been glued into the book, some parts already peeling off because the glue wasn't strong enough. On top of the photo frame, there was large handwriting.

My first year of high school.

The bold writing seemed to be Yerin's handwriting.

Below the photo frame, there was a small note:

I didn't expect that we would be placed in the same class. This is our first photo together—me and you, both in the same frame.

Soobin stared at the photo, which was nearly falling out. There was no doubt about it—they were his classmates. Based on what Yerin wrote in the book, it seemed the photo had been taken during their first year.

He looked closer at the part of the photo that was previously blocked by the book. There was the girl with a stiff smile—her hair tied into two braids draped over her shoulders, looking very sweet.

Right above her, Soobin saw a face he recognized very well—his own face, smiling broadly, showing both dimples, looking directly at the camera.

Wait! He had thought Yerin was a new student, but it turned out they had been in the same class since the first year? Was his memory wrong?

He pushed that thought aside for a moment and looked at the other students in the photo. So, they really had been in the same class as him when he was still alive? That's why he had felt so familiar in that classroom, because he had been used to being there with the same people. That also explained why Yerin recognized him—because they were classmates.

First year.

If he wasn't mistaken, they were now in the second year. This meant that the photo was taken a year ago, which also meant he had still been alive back then, and hadn't been dead for too long. Soobin felt slightly relieved to know a small piece of information about his death.

Then what had caused his death? And why had no one in the class ever mentioned it—he never heard any gossip about his death in class. Had they forgotten about him so easily, and only Yerin still remembered him? Why only Yerin? What kind of relationship did he have with her, that made her so devastated after he was gone? He still hadn't found the answers to those questions.

Soobin was jolted out of his thoughts when he heard the bathroom door open. The girl came out in a cute pink pajama, walking toward him. Finding the open book and the photo of their classmates, Yerin sat down on the chair and stared at the photo. She gently touched it, caressing the part showing Soobin's smiling face, while she appeared as if she were about to cry.

She then closed the book in one swift motion, taking it to her bed. She lay down, hugging the box-like object, murmuring sadly, "I want to meet you again."

Soobin's expression grew somber as he watched the girl like that. He approached and gently stroked Yerin's head. "Hey, don't be sad. I'm here."

***

After staying with Yerin as she cried herself to sleep and eventually drifted off, Soobin decided to leave her room. He needed to find more fragments of his memories before his death.

His first stop was the school, where he had been wandering around. He couldn't find anything else in Yerin's place except for the photo from their first year. Maybe he could find more memories at school. Oh, and he wanted to ask something to Ahjussi, hoping he was there.

Before he could reach his destination, Soobin's steps stopped as the memory from earlier that afternoon resurfaced in his mind. He remembered the words of the old woman, who said that Soobin would destroy Yerin's life. He had been angry about that because, of course, he would never do anything like that to her.

Now, after seeing how the girl had cried because of him, Soobin became curious about the meaning behind the old woman's words.

By coincidence, Soobin ran into her again—curled up next to a closed convenience store. The old woman immediately got up when she sensed Soobin's presence. "What do you want?" she snapped, looking frightened.

Soobin sighed and rolled his eyes. Without further preamble, he responded, "I'm just curious, what did you mean by saying I'll destroy that girl's life?"

The old woman now seemed calm but still kept her distance. "Curious, huh?" she asked, then laughed bitterly. "Didn't you see for yourself? The girl tried to end her life. It's all your fault. You've taken all the positive energy from her." She pointed angrily at Soobin's face and continued, "That's why, stay away from her!"[]