OVERFLOW

pretty

Okay i suddenly had the urge to write this, i started this page to talk about life issues, also to write real life experiences where people can relate. I  hate to write this out but ig only if one person out there would read this and be like I'm not alone, i think it's going to be fine. I had a very funny/ sad realisation few days back. I suddenly remembered a k drama that i used to love. Gangnam beauty ! (Cha eunwoo🛐). In this drama whenever the  girl used to meet new people ( girls) , she used  to rate their appearances in her mind . I don't do the same thing but it made me realised how a low self-esteem could make you a very judgemental person, also can make you experience all kind of negative emotions that you never wanted to experience. Everytime i think about it, my heart gets heavy , as if it's a curse, to feel emotions. Although i cope up with my issues very well. Sense of humor might be one of the ways. I also hate to socialise, to go to events because if i do, i scan every girl in the room and i guess i want to cry ( i think i do that in general as well, very unknowingly), i want to go home. I just socialise cause it's the need, also i don't want to miss out on having fun with my friends. It's not like  i think about it every moment. I'm good at forgetting things, distracting my self and enjoy the moment but it feels shallow when i think about it. It feels pathetic , probably not the way i wanted to represent myself in my own eyes. I don't have a solution for it yet but i cope very well. Maybe there is no solution to it. Whoever is going through the same thing , don't be too harsh on yourself, that's the only advice i have rn.