THE BROKEN FELINE

Chapter 18

Chapter 18
Warning! Depressed chapter!

Sheylyn's POV

After Nash's friend kisses me we leave to go home and I worry.

The ride home is slow and bumpy, yet this is a good time to think, so that's what I do on the whole ride.

I worry for my mate, if he'll try to kill me again. I worry for my children, if it's boys or girls or both. I worry if his pack will accept me as the Luna. I worry too much for my own good. 

I just hope all turns out well. But of course with my luck nothing turns out right.

My body jerks ahead warning us that the car has stopped and that we are at our destination. Nash puts his arm around my waist, for I'm more worried.

The pack is waiting outside for our return. And I start to think again.
Will the pack recognize me? Will I be rejected as a Luna? Will they like me?

"Babe, it's ok, I told them everything except the babies. They will be able to know." His hot breath whispers into my ear.

The pack can sense when the mate of an alpha has a child.

"Is it true? Are you really with child?" A young girl asks from the 650 people crowd.

I nod, not trusting my voice.

They all have hope in their eyes...and love? Well except for one, but it's obvious, the pack slut, no questions there.

The Malibu Barbie runs up to us and starts to talk in that annoying voice nobody likes, "But babe how could you leave me?" I growl warning her that I'm still here.

Yet she continues, "And for a fat slut no less!" This time everyone growls, but Nash's is the loudest.

"You do not disrespect your Luna!" He yells at her clearly the anger hidden in his voice.

Her chin goes up as she glares at me, slowly walking away. Bitch!

We both take a deep breath, Nash for 'thank gods she's gone' and me for 'don't cry, she is what she says'.

I run to our room hoping to get away from all these people.

Our pack house is designed well. Basement and first flight for eating, watching tv, game room extra. The next two flights for children and elderly. Then the adults, and finally the offices.

Getting away was easier because of the elevator, but wasn't easier because of Nash.

As soon as I enter the room, I let it all out. I collapse and just cry, not caring that Nash is here.

"What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? The truth is what's wrong! Having a slut come up to you and yelling at you. calling you fat and a slut. But what hurts more is knowing it's true, knowing that the slut is right!" I scream at him, no one will understand!

"You are not a slut-

"But I am fat! If I'm not fat enough now, I will be soon!"

He stays quiet and his eyes wander to the floor. I know what the silence means, the truth.

"Wow" is all I have to say and leave the room, to the spare room.

I keep my head down walking down the halls, hoping no one will notice my mood.

But they can feel the moods of the Alpha and Luna.

When I get into the spare room, I lock the door and go onto Facebook.

So much hate, so much it's too hard to bare.

Nash is very popular in vines so I knew I'd get a few haters out there, but this?

Somebody just posted:
-what a slut, why can't he pick someone pretty or at least weighs at least 150. Like me
-I will seriously kill that bitch!
-ew, like loser alert. Ever heard of veggies or fruit?

I can't take it anymore!

I shut off the computer and make up my mind, nothing but pain is all I want, it's what I deserve.

I've been depressed before but this is beyond depression. So I fix it.

Sharp, cut, blood, drip.

No one will know on the thigh, It hurts but feels so nice.

Bang!

Shit! I cover up my bleeding thigh and get the door.

It's Nash, I know that so I panic but open the door. As soon as he can fit in the door he is hugging me and apologizing.

"I'm so, so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I was only thinking and you took that as a yes. Please forgive me." He tells me in his death grip of a hug.

He takes a deep breath of my scent to calm his wolf but stops mid sniff.

Crap! He will smell it! He will kill me!

I swallow hard and Nash slowly takes his arms to his sides.

"Why do I smell blood?!" He yells at me in that voice I hate. I flinch at his words but keep my mouth shut.

He gives me a look, the look that says you-better-God-damn-tell-me. I point to the computer hoping he gets the point.

He logs on and his face says it all. Anger. He writes to the haters and slams the top down to shut the computer off.

He grabs me by the waist and smells my arms, then calves, then thighs. And when he finds the spot he grabs my leg, he cut one.

He squeezes it and starts to yell while all I can do is cry.

"How could you do that to yourself! Gods sometimes I just think that you don't think at all! You don't realize that your not just hurting yourself but others! Can't you just be happy for once!!"

My head snaps towards him on that last one. He knows that depression used to be my only friend, the only thing that kept me going. The only thing that liked me enough to stay around.

He knows how much I've cried, how much I wished, how much I envied. He knows that I've only been truly happy around him, and it's not a long time.

My hand rises and before I register what is happening, slap! My eyes wide open for what I've done.

Eyes pitch black, he slaps me harder, so hard I'm on the floor bleeding, and unconscious.

        *****

What should the names of the babies be?