Fall Away (joshler)

02: Disguises

//Hey guys, just a heads up that this chapter has self-harm in it (kinda near the end) so please feel free to skip this chapter if you have too, you wont miss too much//

-TRIGGER WARNING-

Tyler sat in the same spot all morning. He had woken up sometime around 8 and it was now 3:15. No, 3:16. His eyes were focused on the digital clock that sat in the bus. The glowing numbers seemed to mock him. Tyler wasn't sure what he meant when he thought that, but he thought it none the less and didn't seem to care enough to sort it out.

Josh had left at 12:28. He said he wanted to go on a walk but nobody took a three hour walk. 'Maybe he went out and got lunch' Tyler had thought at 2:50. Tyler let the thought slip, just like he had let all the others. His phone buzzed next to his leg, Josh's name flashing on the screen. Tyler quickly answered.

"Hi."

"Hey."

"Where have you been?" The few words came out of Tyler's mouth harsher than he had meant.

There was a short pause from Josh, but he quickly said, "There's this little street fair a few blocks away and I got caught up in all of that. I'm sorry. I meant to get back earlier, but I had lost track of time."

A small 'oh okay' was heard from Tyler before silence followed for at least a minute. No, not even one minute. Tyler was still watching the clock.

"Do you want me to come get you? We can look around at the place and get like some fruit or some art or something. We don't have much decorative stuff in the bus." Josh sounded happy which brought a small smile to Tyler's face. He also wanted to remind Josh they didn't eat fruit very often, but he didn't want to crush the man's dreams.

"Yeah, that sounds good," Tyler said before realizing he had accepted the invitation to go outside. Be around people. People.

Josh said something about 10 minutes and all Tyler did was nod before hanging up. He knew the nod wasn't noted on the other side of the phone, but neither was his overwhelming desire to stay locked away for the day with nothing but loud music and a sad atmosphere hanging around him.

He reluctantly stood from where he had been sitting, the room spinning around him as he did. Ignoring the fact he walked like a drunk college student, Tyler made his way to the bunks so he could change. He slowly put a dark short-sleeve shirt and a thin jacket on and didn't bother to change his jeans. It wasn't like he had worn them for a week; only one day.

The sound of the bus door being opened took Tyler's attention away from the little string that was hanging from the hem of his shirt. It wasn't interesting, but it had kept his mind slightly busy. Tyler stood up and walked towards Josh.

"Your hair is a mess." Josh pointed out the obvious.

Tyler shrugged. "I don't care."

A look of concern flashed across Josh's face but a small smile replaced it. "Do you wanna get going now, or do you need a bit more time to get ready?"

Tyler shrugged again. "Just get going, I guess." He pulled the sleeves of his jacket over his hands and was surprised that Josh didn't ask anything about it. Maybe he was starting to trust Tyler more. He liked the thought of that. Trust.

The two of them walked outside and Tyler made a small noise of discomfort as the bright sun hit his eyes for the first time in what, three days? He hadn't been feeling sociable for a while. He was kind of afraid of how he felt because the last time he was like this... well let's just say things weren't going very well for him.