Done for you

Chapter 4

*Ashley’s POV*

‘’... Try again?’’ You ask me now!? After two months?

I was biting my lower lip, and that’s normally something I do when I’m nervous or in a difficult situation. What should I say? Yes or no? On one hand, I really want to be with him, and I still love him, but on the other hand, it took him two months to realize how much I mean to him, and get his shit together to say sorry.

‘’I-I don’t know, Andy... I have to think a bit more about it.’’ I answered, still fighting the pressing tears.

‘’I guess I’ll leave you to it then...’’ He said. I looked up, only to face his back and an open door. He stepped out and I closed it. I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, they just rolled down my cheeks, and I did nothing to stop them. I turned around and slammed my back up against the door and slid down so I was sat on the floor. I hid my face between my knees.The agony was slowly killing me from within. What should I do? Should I give him another chance? I love him, and I want to be with him, but... What if he does it again? If something happens and he won’t listen to me again?

I don’t want to think about this anymore. I just want to feel nothing, become numb.

I stood up after what felt like eternity and went to the bedroom. I knelt down and took a little, black box out from beneath the bed. I blowed on it to remove all the dust from the lid. I’ve had it since I was 16, though, I haven’t seen it since the day I joined Black Veil Brides. I wanted to throw it away, but I couldn’t get myself to do it.

I opened it and looked down on the content. There were bottles with pills, a razor and some bandages. There reason for the bandages: I’ve learned from my mistakes. I’ve cut deep and needed them, but I had to go out of my room go get them. Now I always have them when I decide to cut, because if I cut deep and I need them, then I don’t need to go anywhere to get them.

I rolled up my left sleeve and took the razor. It felt too familiar, having the razor in my hand again after all this time. I looked at my wrist, at the old, faded scars. I held the razor over it. Then I thought to myself, Don’t let the razor get a hold of you, Ashley. You are better then that. Go to the music for help.

I took a deep, shaky breath and lowered my hand with the razor. I put the razor back in the box, closed it, pushed it back under the bed and rolled down my sleeve. I got up and went into the living room, picked up my guitar and sat down on the floor, letting my fingers dance over the cold guitar strings.

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What's this? An update? But it's only Wednesday.

Yeah I know, but I don't have the chance to update on Sunday. In fact, I can't promiss an update next week since I've got a lot of shit going on...

Sorry, Minions ;-;

But I'll make it up to you :)

Hope you injoy x3