Done for you

Chapter 7

*Ashley’s POV*

When I left Jake’s room didn’t even ask anyone about Andy. I didn’t even look for him. I just walked, almost runned through the hallways, out the door and back to the car. It was getting dark. I sighed as I got in the car. As i said earlier, it was gonna be a long day, and fucking hell has it been long. I sat in silence for a few minutes before I started the car and made my way home.

After I got back and the car was parked, I didn’t go back up, but I was headed to the park instead. I walked for a bit and found the bench I’m always sitting at when I get out.

I know I told Jake not to blame himself, but the cunt that jumped the lights. Well, in reality, he should be blaming me. If I’d just said yes when Andy asked if I wanted to try again, if I didn’t had to think about it and just given him another chance then... Then this wouldn’t have happened. He would’ve stayed to watch a movie with me, but instead he’s-he’s...

What have I done?

‘’All of this is my fault.’’ I whispered to myself as the tears I’d been fighting finally won. I hid my face in my hands.

I kept thinking like that for, I don’t know, an hour or so before I looked up at my surroundings. It was completely dark and empty now. I got up, and with the feeling of guilt in my gut, I made my way back home.

I took of my leather jacket, kicked of my shoes in the hallway and walked into the lining room. My guitar, still on the floor where I left it when I went to my room to check the text from Jake. That reminded me, my phone was still on the floor in there. I dropped it out of shock after reading Jake’s text. I went in to get it, no new messages, no missed calls. I’m gonna take that as a good sign.

It was pretty late and I wanted to get some sleep, but the guilt and the urge to find the blades was way too strong. The urge has gotten a lot worse these couple of days, and trying to stop it was like trying to stop a train with your bare hands. The only thing that kept me from doing it was music. Whether it was serious or just mindless playing, it kept me from it.

I went back into the living room and sat down and started to play. Just let my fingers run over the strings on an endless dance.

After three hours of mindless playing, I decided to got to bed, begging the nightmares would stay away for just one night. 

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Weee! Update!

So, finals are coming up these next couple of weeks, so I don’t know if I’ll be updating or not...

Just to let you know, just in case I’m gone for some time. I’m not dead, just finals ;3

Thanks for reading and voting x3

See ya next week ;3

Hopefully ._.’