VIII

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     When we're dismissed from Formation, I rush toward the rooms. I don't wait for my squad, chattering about the underwhelming nature of graduation, nor do I wait for Xaden, even though he'll be gone by tomorrow.
     My heart patters when I think about it. I'm supposed to be in Aretia by his side on a throne. Instead, he gets thrown into the army to fight for the cowardly country that absorbed ours and I'm stuck in Basgiath, just waiting for the day I suffer the same.

     And... fuck. I told Colonel Aetos everything. I've spent years keeping all of that information in check. The fact that he killed my mother, that he blamed it on Fen, that his signet doesn't work on me. But the worst of it is that now he knows I know all of it. Everything.
     I don't think it's going to put my life in extra danger, not after Athebyne. I do think, however, that any manipulative mercy he'd extended previously will no longer be the case. If he was fine drugging me in my sleep when he thought I saw him as my protector, what will he do to me now?

     There's a party tonight. The only kind of celebration we'll ever get. I plan on getting shit-faced. I don't think I can manage this night sober, so I don't plan to.
     I glance around as I get to the top floor of the dormitories. Only the leadership's rooms are up here, which includes Xaden's. I know he's not slower than me, but I can feel the pull of his starry night sky from the staircase. Maybe he'd stopped to speak to Garrick and the other graduating marked ones. I wouldn't blame him.
     I do tap my foot impatiently, however. His eyes find me as soon as he exits the stairwell.

     "What're you doing up here?" he questions. His gaze scales down my form for an agonizing few seconds.
     "Open the door." He twists his hands to unlock it and I don't wait for him to get any closer. I grab the handle and push, tumbling straight in before glancing around.
     "What's this about?" I find what I'm looking for almost instantly and begin toward the chair quickly. It's tossed haphazardly on the floor, an unfortunate reminder of that amazing night.

     I don't answer, only pick up the flight jacket from the floor and then hold it out to answer his question. If it were any of my other jackets, I wouldn't have bothered, but with a protection ward embroidered in its lining, one made by my own mother's hands, I'd sure feel a lot safer with it on. Maybe I wouldn't have even been stabbed in Resson if I had it on.
     I glance toward the door as he begins to push it closed, but I don't bother to wait until I'm out of his room. My hands practically rip open each button on the flight jacket hugging my form. I pull my right arm out and let it turn inside out peeling away from my left, then shove the protected one over my back.

     When I glance up, my fingers locking in each button, I find Xaden's gaze fixated right on me. For the first moment, on the pale skin of my stomach, before his eyes jump up to my face. I only leave the top button unlatched so it doesn't choke me, but I already feel better, that familiar humming buzz pressing lines into my skin.

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