Dear Diary

Chapter 7

Soft light filtered in the few small windows of the underground basement that had now become a temporary home. Tall stacks of boxes sat against the walls, pushed to the side creating a large open space. Food wrappers, pizza boxes, and varieties of magazines and comic books, littered the floor giving the area a well lived in appearance, even with only two days having past. Illuminated in the white light were two forms lying in a bundle of blankets in the middle of the cleared floor. One was snoring softly, deep in sleep, a comic book draped over his yellow plastron. The other was curled in a ball, a large medical book lying under his arm.
One set of blankets were left abandoned on the floor, the normal occupant having neglected to use them for the night. The third figure was found curled up in a fluffy dusty arm chair that couldn't be less than thirty years old. His eyes were open, rimmed with dark circles giving the appearance that he had not slept well for many nights. His eyes were gazing intently on the fourth figure lying on the couch in front of him. Raph let out a deep sigh and reached his hand over to take the limp one lying near by.

Leo had still not shown any change in condition over the past two days and there were no signs that he would be awakening any time soon. Splinter had been trying multiple times to reach his eldest son through meditation, but again and again was met by failure. Splinter had explained to Raph it was as though Leo's mind didn't want to be reached. There was an invisible wall separating him from the rest. The old rat, who was just recently attempting another round of meditation, now slept lightly in another old chair after another failure to reach his son.

Raph wrenched his eyes from his prone brother to gaze at his two sleeping brothers behind him. He was glad to finally see both of them in a deep sleep. Mikey had been having trouble falling asleep since they had moved down to the strange basement. He claimed it was because he was not used to sleeping on the floor, but everyone knew it was because he was afraid to fall asleep, fearing he could wake up and Leo would be gone. Don, on the other hand, had outright refused to sleep. He was working himself into a frenzy, constantly checking Leo's vitals, changing his bandages, giving him medication, and when he wasn't hovering over his brother, he had his nose buried in one medical book or another, trying to find any form of information that could help further Leo's recovery. Finally, late into the night, Don's body had given into exhaustion and he had fallen asleep.

Raph looked at the clock that Don had mounted on the wall. It was almost six in the morning. That would mean that Dr. Sarah would be coming down soon to check on Leo, and on the rest of them. She had been nothing but helpful these past few days, coming to work more than an hour early every day and leaving hours later than normal every night in order to keep up with Leo's care.

April and Casey had also been in and out often, normally coming at night after the clinic closed, arms full of food and drinks, and stayed with them well into the night until finally leaving to retire to their own apartment.

Raph shifted in his chair, trying to find a more comfortable position. As for him, he hadn't gotten more than an hour, maybe two of sleep since that horrific night. He couldn't bring himself to leave Leo's side, as if him leaving would detach the only lifeline keeping his brother alive. He knew the real lifeline for his brother was the ventilator that he still required to breath. This was known after a terrifying trial where Dr. Sarah had unhooked the ventilator to test his lungs, and he had failed to take his own breaths. Raph sighed again, a familiar feeling of hopelessness taking over. Sarah continuously reminded him that Leo was still weak, that he still had a chance at recovery, but as each day passed with no improvement, Raph found his optimism waning.

Guilt was Raph's constant companion. Every time he looked at Leo's face he was reminded of the last conversation they had, of the words that were exchanged, and of Leo's face before he had left. Raph couldn't stand to think those words would be the last that he would ever say to his older brother. Raph swallowed back yet another large lump that was trying to form in his throat. He felt his eyes burning once again, and tried to swallow back his tears. Raph had still not allowed himself to shed any tears, crying just wasn't something he did.