a poet's attempts at communication

if only i had the courage

omygod
i have so much to say
so many words piled in my brain
but there's not enough time
and i lack the strength
to tell you the words that i wish i could say

if i ever find my voice
and the bravery to speak through the chaos and the noise
then believe what i tell you, cuz i've been holding it in
and i'm scared that if i share, i'll be committing a sin

the truth is, i'm starstruck the moment you speak
i know that i'm stuttering when i can't find the words that i seek
and i'm red to the bone with shooting stars in my gut
but i'm wishing to beings that i don't believe in for luck

i'll tell you the words that wish to break through my chest—
your presence is enchanting and turns me to a mess
you are gold and green and silver and white
the colors of nature and mystery and life

you give me thoughts and feelings that make me unsure
you give me hope and pain, both hard to endure
i'll let myself suffer everyday if it means
i can stay connected to the one of my dreams

your mind is a mystery that i wish i could solve
your heart is too deep for a world that has yet to evolve
there's sadness behind every joke that you crack
and it makes my heart ache that confidence is what you lack

your body is perfection, like the goddess of love
aphrodite worships you from the heavens above
each scar is a tale of strength and of plight
each freckle a constellation of beauty and light

in conclusion i'll share some last thoughts you should know
can we dance in the dark and see where this goes
you are a light in my life, so let me show you somehow
just how much my heart longs for yours now