The Ties that Bind [ONGOING]

12

Time goes fast, like a blink.

I still remember at the time that I brought her to the world. I looked down and saw my baby girl, all wrapped up. Her eyes were closed, but she looked so strong. I felt a big rush of love, and I knew everything was different now. She was my baby, a part of me, and I loved her so much.

That day, the world seemed to hold its breath. It was like everything stopped, just for a moment, as I held my baby in my arms. It was the most beautiful, most amazing moment of my life. I couldn't stop looking at her, at her tiny fingers, her soft skin, and the way she slept so peacefully. It was a day I'll never forget, a day that changed everything.

At ngayong araw, my baby girl is turning 5 kaya busy kami rito sa penthouse ni Kirlstine para sa get over ng babygirl ko na si Zana Of course she's very excited and happy kasi si Auntie Ganda ang mag ma-make over sa kanya. Umiiyak pa 'yan kanina, nagmamakaawa na si Kirlstine ang magma-make up sa kanya.

She's too adorable when I saw her admiring Kirlstine so much. The way her genuine smile appeared every time she saw her on the national television. Every time her magazines photo is out. Every time her social media post we'll appear in my newsfeed, she'll be the first one to comment using my account. Lahat ata kay Kirlstine hinahangaan niya. She's her role model. And I am happy na sa batang edad she found someone to look up to.

"Chin up and smile, honey." Kirlstine said.

Ngayon tahimik na itong naka-upo sa high chair habang pinapagandahan siya ng aking pinsan. Nilagyan lang niya ito ng eyehadow at inaayosan na ang buhok. Sinabihan ko kasi na huwag bigyan nang full glam kasi bata pa ito kaya sinunod niya rin naman.

It's been a while since nakabalik ako sa maalikabok na syudad. After ko kasing manganak ay lumipat kami ng country side para mas malayo, at para maka-iwas na rin sa pamilya. Only my friends and Kirlstine are the ones who know my whereabouts, not until nakita ko nalang na nakatayo sa labas ng bahay na inuupahan ko ang dalawa kung kapatid na si Levi and Gab.

I am not shocked at all if they'll know that I have a child. Malamang nakita na nila ang latest news. Tumawag rin ang pinsan ko that time to tell me that siya ang may kasalanan kaya nabuking ang kinaroroonan ko. Hindi niya sinadyang naibulaslas ang lokasyon habang nagpapalitan ng masasakit na salita sa aking kapatid dahil sa 'kin. They we're asking about me, that's why it all happened.

Halos hindi nga ako makatingin sa dalawa ng araw na 'yon habang tinitignan nito ang aking maliit na anak na nakahiga sa gitna ng kama. They feel sorry and sad about what happened. Iniisip kasi ng dalawa na naging pabaya silang kapatid dahil sa lahat ng nangyari sa 'kin. I just let them see the best smile I could give at that time just for them to know that I am happy and didn't feel any regret of having a child at a young age.

Naging masaya naman ang pagkikita namin sa araw na 'yon at minabuti rin nila na walang nakakaalam sa pamilya. I'm glad because I am not yet ready that time for my mom and dad to know my whereabouts.

Kahit papano naging masaya naman ako sa buhay na malayo sa alikabok ng syudad. My friends visited when they had free time after a hectic school. Lalo na ang dalawa kung kapatid at pinsan na walang palya na pagbisita halos araw-araw. They've become my daughter's dads, especially my two brothers.

"How was the long ride?"

Naputol ang aking iniisip ng biglang nagsalita ang pinsan ko. Wala na sa upuan si Zana kaya ibig sabihin tapos na ito. Tinignan ko ang bata na ngayon ay naka-upo na sa sofa habang hawak ang Ipad nito. He's probably watching her favourite Moana movie again.

"Nakakapagod, ngayon nalang ulit ako nakapagbyahe ng ganon kahaba." Ani ko habang inaayos ang pagkaka-upo. Nakaharap na ang pinsan sa 'kin para simulan ang makeup look ko.