tayvis ~ invisible string

lights, camera, bitch smile!

TW

Taylor's Perspective

I had noticed it first during rehearsals. A light-headed feeling would creep up whenever I pushed too hard, the edges of my vision blurring. But I shrugged it off. I’d worked through worse; I was stronger than this. Still, during “lover,” I felt my knees start to buckle, and I had to grip the mic stand to steady myself. I told myself it was just exhaustion, a lack of sleep — but deep down, I knew better.

As the rehearsals went on, it didn’t get better. Instead, the dizziness became a familiar companion. By the time I was running through “We are never ever getting back together,” my vision had clouded more than once, and I had to pause between lyrics to catch my breath. But when Kam and Jan stopped to ask if I was okay, I waved them off with a smile I hoped looked convincing, brushing the concern away with a joke about the rigors of tour life.

Travis’s Perspective

I’d noticed it before she even stepped onto the stage for the show. There was something off, a distance in her eyes when I watched her during rehearsals. I saw her falter, her smile a little too tight, but she kept going, and I told myself she was just tired. But when I saw her sway during "Fortnight" gripping her stomach with a hand that shook ever so slightly, my heart dropped. Something was wrong.

I wanted to storm on stage during rehearsals, but I knew Taylor. She’d wave it off, tell me she was fine. So I stayed where I was, my eyes never leaving her, the worry gnawing at me.

Taylor's pov:

By the end of the week, i didn't know how much more i could take. The endless cycle of sound checks, choreography, and costume fittings had me feeling a little off. I blamed it on the adrenaline, on the excitement of the upcoming show. But as the lights dimmed and the first beats of "Miss americana and the heartbreak prince" echoed in the stadium, I felt it — a wave of dizziness that I hadn’t expected. I pushed it down, reminding myself to smile, to perform like nothing was wrong. My chest felt tight, and my limbs were heavier than usual. Every step felt like I was wading through quicksand, every note harder to reach.

I loved the rush of being on stage, but tonight, the lights felt too bright, the noise too loud. I could feel my hands shaking, my breath shortening with each song. "It's just nerves," I told myself, even though I knew that wasn’t true. There were comments, whispers online that I’d tried to ignore — things people said about my body. They called me "fat," asked if I was "pregnant." The words had taken root somewhere deep, digging at a place I’d worked so hard to heal.

As the eras went on, it only got worse. By the time I reached the red era, I felt like I was floating above myself, watching someone else perform. My fingers fumbled during the guitar solo in All Too Well, and I played the wrong chord, cringing as I barely covered the mistake. Sweat dripped down my face, my hair sticking to my skin, and I forced a smile even as the crowd roared.

Each era passed, each outfit change feeling heavier than the last. As I twirled in the glittering dress for the "Speak now" set, I felt my stomach churn. I managed to smile through it, but my legs felt like they were made of lead.

When I reached the “Reputation” era, I couldn’t hide the exhaustion anymore. I leaned against the boxes during “Look What You Made Me Do,” my breath coming in shallow gasps. I could feel Travis’s eyes on me, and I didn’t dare look his way. If I did, I knew I’d break.

By the time we reached the "Folkmore" era, I could barely concentrate. My vision was blurring at the edges, and I felt so light-headed that I was certain I’d float away if I didn’t focus on keeping my feet on the ground. I tried to lean against the piano without making it obvious, hoping no one would notice how my knees were trembling.