Alive : Hockey Fan Fiction

Chapter 19 : Drunk, Swedish Sex

I have been spending most of my time at the gym and getting in fighting shape. Phil has me on a strict diet and some days I really feel like I might cave and eat a whole 30 inch pizza from Serious Pizza. He knows what is best for me, though, so I am not straying from my meal plan. I am really starting to see the muscle I am building and I feel stronger. I have been boxing so much that some of it is starting to become muscle memory. Phil says I have improved so much in the past month. I have been starting to have mock fights with some of the other girls who come to the boxing zone. Some days I get knocked around and some days I come out on top. I will not be satisfied until I am on top every time. Phil says I'm going to be waiting a long time but that's ok, I like to prove people wrong.

I haven't been to a meeting. I don't think they're helping me. Dr. Murray would say it's because I am not willing to make that change yet and I am projecting. He would probably be right. I thought I was ready but then I had that crazy night where I went to Jason Demers' house and then had sex with Gabriel Landeskog in a conference room. I basically tried to rape Tyler, who is doing an amazing job of pretending I don't exist. I haven't had sex since that night at the hotel but I can't say that I've been doing well with it. I am not sleeping. I go for a lot of midnight walks and don't come home until the sun is rising then I go to the gym. If I didn't have AnnMarie I would probably be dead in a ditch somewhere. I have been pretty down on myself about how I let my life get so out of control. Sometimes I just feel so alone.

Tonight starts the Stars home games of round 2 of the Stanley Cup playoffs and the Stars are facing off against the Vancouver Canucks. I have once again been lucky enough to get tickets to games 3 and 4 that are going to be here in Dallas and am looking forward to the game tonight. The Stars have already won the first two games on the road in Vancouver and they have been on fire. I made sure to get tickets in the lower bowl but as far away from the Dallas bench as possible so I don't make anyone feel uncomfortable. This is mostly for myself since the team is in the zone and doubt any of them would actually see me. I heard through the grapevine that Jason Demers told Tyler about me going to his house that night to try to sleep with him so I'm sure Tyler hates me even more now than before. I am not going to let that ruin my good time.

I started off my day by going to the gym as usual. I was working on my speed. My fist speed and my leg speed. I also did a lot more conditioning. We have been working on building more muscle in my arms and abs for the most part but some calf and thigh muscle as well. Sometimes I look in the mirror and don't really recognize myself. I have never been in this kind of shape before. I am lean and cut. Phil actually says I still have a ways to go. I can't even imagine what I am going to look like at the end of the summer.I am still getting used to it. This definitely was not something I imagined when I started training with Phil but I feel amazing so it's all worth it. I still feel that the gym is truly the only place I can get out of my head and be normal. Hockey is a good escape too.

Once I got home from the gym I had a protein packed lunch, did some meditation, and took a nap. I have been trying really hard to get a meditation session in every day. Dr. Murray would be proud. I had set my alarm to go off just before AnnMarie got home from work but wound up only sleeping an hour. I hope I will have enough energy to make it through the game. I'm sure I will. I am ready to go. Just waiting for AnnMarie to get changed and then we will leave for the game. I decided that we won't get there early to watch warm ups and just get there in time for puck drop. Our seats are five rows up from the glass on one of the corners. We scoot down the row to our seats and sit down just in time for player introductions to start.

With about 13 minutes left in the second period Tyler and Yannick Weber collide against the boards and Tyler goes down. I think just about everyone's hearts were in their throats as he crawled away from the boards until the training staff ran out to him. None of us could breathe until he stood up. He was able to leave the game on his own power but didn't return to the bench in the 3rd period. We kept feverishly searching Twitter for any information on him but they weren't giving any out. The Stars wind up winning the game 3-2 which means they just need to win the next one to sweep. It is a bitter sweet victory as we await information on how Tyler is doing.