When No One's Asking; When No One's Looking.

More Than Just a Birthday Wish

I've always believed that love finds its way through the little things—a surprise donut on a quiet afternoon, a home-cooked meal that feels like a warm hug, or the shared joy of discovering new flavors together. That's how I show my love, especially to my elder brother, the person who means the world to me. Food and cooking are my love languages, my way of saying, "I see you, I care for you, and I want to make you smile."

But when it comes to my own birthday, things have always felt... different. My birthdays were never really mine. They became an excuse for others to gather, to host, to invite—a day that left me feeling like a side character in my own story. Sure, my friends have made my birthdays special in the past, but as life pulls us in different directions, they're far away now, and I understand they can't always do something extravagant.

Still, deep down, I've longed for that personal touch, a small moment that says, "This is just for you." And that's where my brother comes in. He's my anchor, my confidante, my everything. I don't need grand gestures—just something that feels like he thought of me, that he knows what makes my heart light up. But for the past few years, all I got was a birthday wish. Just that.

It's not that I don't appreciate it—I do. But it left me wondering: Is this all I mean to him? A fleeting thought, a passing gesture? It's hard to reconcile when I pour so much of myself into showing him love. I've always thought, "If someone wanted to, they would." And yet, here I was, feeling like I was asking for too much.

I've tried to talk to him about it, but it's tricky. How do you tell someone you love deeply that you wish they'd try a little harder without it sounding accusatory? It's hard not to feel like I'm being childish, like I'm whining about something trivial. But it's not trivial to me. It's not about gifts or extravagance—it's about the thought, the effort, the love behind it.

I've realized that it's not just about the birthday. It's about feeling seen, valued, and cared for in the way I try to care for others. It's about not being the person people assume will always be fine, who doesn't need that extra mile. It's about wanting to be someone's priority for just one moment, to feel like I matter that much.

And maybe, just maybe, that's something worth holding onto. Because love isn't about grand gestures—it's about showing up, even in the smallest ways. Maybe next year will be different. Maybe it won't. But for now, I'll keep giving my love, one surprise donut at a time, hoping it'll inspire others to do the same.