What It Cost

Care & Concentration

As the van rolled back into the driveway of the house, Lilly sat in the backseat, her hands wrapped around the water bottle Folio had brought her. Her eyes were heavy, exhaustion clinging to her, but she pushed it down. The boys in the front and middle seats, talking passively about the day, joking around and discussing where to eat later. Lilly's mind drifted back to the shoot, replaying the moment she slipped from the scaffolding and Noah catching her. She still couldn't shake the feeling of how weak she'd felt.

The vehicle stopped, and as the engine hummed to a halt, Noah was the last to step out, turning back to look at her. The others were already piling out, but Noah stayed behind, looking at her through the rearview mirror. His gaze had a hint of concern as he lingered for a moment.

"Lilly," he said as she opened the door, the soft but firm tone catching her attention. "You just rest for now. You don't need to worry about unpacking any of the gear."

She opened her mouth to protest but hesitated. She wanted to prove herself and show the guys that she was dedicated and belonged, but the weight of their eyes, especially Noah's, made her second guess herself. She shifted uncomfortably, wondering if they would think she was lazy for taking a break.

Noah watched her, arms crossed, a slight furrow to his brow. "Don't worry about it, okay?" His voice was calm but insistent, and he didn't seem like he'd take no for an answer.

Lilly sighed quietly, feeling a mix of frustration and reluctance bubble up. She wasn't ready to be the girl who couldn't pull her weight, but she didn't want to argue with Noah, not when she barely knew him and the others.

"Fine," she muttered, though there was a hint of irritation in her tone. "But if you need anything, I'll be happy to help."

Noah gave a quick wave of his hand, dismissing her concern. "We'll be fine. Just rest."

She didn't argue, instead she turned and headed toward the stairs. The fatigue finally caught up with her as she climbed, and by the time she reached her room, she could feel the tension in her chest.

Once inside, she grabbed her phone from her bag and dialed Tasha. As it rang, she sat down on her bed, sighing heavily. Tasha picked up after a few rings.

"Hey, Lils!" Tasha's voice was bright, but Lilly could hear the concern behind it. "You good?"

Lilly shook her head even though Tasha couldn't see her. "I feel so stupid," she said, exhaling shakily. "I've never felt so weak before..." Lilly told Tasha what happened. From the scaffolding mishap, to Noah catching her, to the car ride back. "I don't know why I let myself get to that point."

Tasha paused for a moment. "Lilly, you're working hard. I know you want to prove yourself, but it's okay to take breaks. Your body needs some attention, too." Tasha spoke carefully.

Lilly bit her lip, not wanting to admit how much Tasha was right. "I just... I don't want them to think I'm not trying. That I'm not good enough."

Tasha's voice softened. "You're doing great. I'm sure they see that, too. But you know how important it is to take care of yourself, right? Don't let the pressure wear you down."

Lilly glanced away, her gaze falling on the open window, the light outside blinding. Her stomach twisted slightly, and she bit back the urge to change the subject. "Yeah, I'll get on it," she said quietly, forcing a smile even though Tasha couldn't see it.

Before Tasha could reply, there was a knock on the door. Lilly quickly wiped her eyes and went to answer. It was Folio, a smile on his face. "Hey, we're ordering Chinese. You want anything?"

Lilly's heart skipped a beat at the thought of food. Her mind raced, wondering what the least calorie-heavy option would be. She thought quickly and blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "Uh, just some steamed veggies and rice. That'll be fine."