What It Cost

Distraction

The night felt heavy, a silence settling over the house like a thick fog. Lilly lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling as tears fell slowly, meandering down her cheeks. The day's earlier chaos had subsided into a quiet stillness, leaving her alone with the echoes of her mother's harsh words. They circled in her mind like vultures, each accusation striking deeper than the last.

Was she right? Did I make the biggest mistake of my life?

Guilt weighed heavily on her chest, a pressure that made every breath feel labored. She thought about Tasha, her best friend, her chosen sister, who had always been the person she relied on to keep her grounded. Tasha had been her confidant through everything. Lilly missed her, realizing how much of her life had revolved around their close bond. They had spent almost every minute together, and the guilt of leaving that behind pressed heavily on her. She also thought about the degree she'd abandoned, a carefully crafted plan years in the making. Most of all, she thought about her mother: angry, hurt, and disappointed. Lilly's mind churned with questions that had no easy answers. Would staying have mended their fractured relationship? Or was it irreparable from the start?

Turning her head to the side, she buried her face in the crook of her arm, fresh tears spilling out. An ache gnawed at her stomach, an emptiness that seemed stretched with no end. She felt paralyzed, the weight of her thoughts pressing her deeper into the mattress as if it could swallow her whole and spare her from facing reality.

A sudden knock at the door cut through the silence. Startled, Lilly sat up quickly, wiping at her tear-streaked face with the sleeve of her jacket. "Come in," she croaked, her voice raspier than she intended.

The door creaked open, and Noah poked his head in. His brow furrowed slightly as he took in her slumped posture and red-rimmed eyes. "Hey," he said softly, his voice a gentle contrast to the heaviness in the room. "I, uh, was just about to play a game. Thought you might want to join."

Lilly blinked at him, her expression blank but her mind churning. She saw through his excuse immediately and appreciated the effort, but the gnawing emptiness inside her made the idea of moving feel impossible. Shaking her head, she muttered, "I'm... tired. Thanks, though."

Noah lingered in the doorway, a heavy silence stretching between them. Finally, he let out a sigh and stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. "Lilly," he began carefully, his tone soft but deliberate. "I know today was... rough. I don't want to pry, but if there's anything I can do to help, even just a distraction, let me know."

Her gaze dropped to her lap, her fingers nervously fidgeting with the edge of her sleeve. "I don't know," she mumbled. "It's not something you can fix."

"Maybe not," he admitted, taking a cautious step closer. "But it doesn't mean I can't try to make it easier for you. We could... I don't know, play something in my room? Just to take your mind off things for a bit."

Lilly hesitated, her shoulders sagging further under the weight of her exhaustion. But she could see the genuine concern in his eyes, the way he stood there waiting, patient and unwavering. Something about his presence felt grounding, like a lifeline she hadn't realized she needed. Finally, she gave a small shrug. "Okay," she murmured. "I guess I could try."

Noah's lips twitched into a small, encouraging smile. Without a word, he extended a hand toward her. "Come on," he said gently.

Lilly stared at his hand for a moment, the hollowness inside her churning with reluctance. Slowly, she placed her hand in his, his grip warm and firm as he helped her to her feet. Together, they walked down the hall to his bedroom, their footsteps muffled by the carpeted floor. He hadn't let go of her hand.

The space was dimly lit, the glow of his desktop monitor casting a soft, ambient light across the room. Noah had already pulled an extra chair beside his, a small but thoughtful gesture. Lilly sank into it, feeling a faint twinge of gratitude that she couldn't quite articulate. Noah settled in next to her, his fingers quickly clicking through the game's menu.

"Ever played this before?" he asked, glancing at her.

Lilly shook her head. "No," she said quietly, her voice still carrying the weight of the day.

"Well, it's pretty straightforward," he began, launching into an explanation of the controls and objectives. His voice was steady, a soothing rhythm that filled the silence. But Lilly barely registered his words, her mind drifting back to her mothers words.

Noticing her distraction, Noah paused. "Hey," he said, breaking her train of thought. "Can I see your hand for a sec?"

Lilly blinked, startled by the request. She looked at him, confusion flickering in her gaze. "What?"

"Your hand," he repeated, holding out his own.

Still puzzled, she hesitated before placing her hand in his. He guided it to the mouse. "You steer," he said, a playful smile tugging at his lips. "I'll handle the keyboard."

"Noah, I don't..." she started to protest, but he shook his head.

"Come on," he coaxed. "Just give it a try!"

Reluctantly, she moved the mouse, fumbling with the controls as the character on-screen moved awkwardly. Noah chuckled softly, his laughter warm as he offered tips and guidance. At first, she felt self-conscious, but his gentle encouragement began to chip away at her hesitation.

Minutes turned into an hour as they found a rhythm. Her movements became more deliberate, and Noah's commentary grew more animated. Laughter bubbled up unexpectedly when she accidentally steered their character into an obstacle.

Noah's grin widened at the sound. "See? Not so bad, right?"

Lilly glanced at him, a faint smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Yeah," she admitted, her voice soft. "Not so bad."

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They played well past midnight, the hours slipping away unnoticed as laughter filled the room. Noah had handed over full control to Lilly, who was perched in his computer chair while he occupied the extra one he had brought in for her. Her awkward attempts to navigate the game were met with his amused instructions, their shared laughter weaving into the night. Lilly felt lighter, the tension in her shoulders easing as she became engrossed in the moment.

Eventually, Noah glanced at his phone and raised an eyebrow. "Okay, it's getting late," he said with a sheepish grin. "We really need to get some sleep. We have to be up early to pack everything for the tour."

He saved her game progress, ensuring she wouldn't lose any of the fumbling victories she had managed to achieve. "Thanks," Lilly said sincerely, her voice quieter now but tinged with genuine gratitude. "For the distraction."

A brief silence fell between them, the kind that teetered between comfort and awkwardness. Noah scratched the back of his neck and then gestured toward the door. "Ready to call it a night? We can get ready for bed together."

Lilly hesitated for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, okay." Her voice carried a hint of reluctance, but she followed him anyway.

They made their way to the shared bathroom, slipping back into the familiar routine they had built over the past weeks. It was comforting to the both of them, even if neither of them spoke it aloud.