What It Cost

Smoke

The voices around Lilly were just noise, overlapping and loud. Too loud. She stood close to Tasha, her hoodie sleeves pulled over her fingers like armor. She could feel the heat of Noah's presence on the other side of the room as her mind replayed the moment. His eyes never seemed to leave her. She swore she could hear the slight rhythm of his breath, his heart beating beneath his ribs. Or maybe it was her own.

No one mentioned what had happened.

No one had to.

Noah hadn't said anything since she pulled away, abandoning him in the hallway.

Lilly couldn't bring herself to look at him.

They stood on opposite ends of the living space, separated by what felt like inches, miles, both pretending to be fine, ignoring each other and what almost happened. Everyone else around them existed as if nothing had happened. And maybe nothing had.

Lilly could feel her heart beating in her ears like a drum.

"I need some air," she blurted, words tumbling out of her mouth.

Noah looked up, but she didn't see it. She was already moving, already slipping out like smoke through a vent.

Tasha clocked it instantly, straightening from where she'd been in close quarters with Ruffilo. "Perfect. I need a smoke break," she said, and followed.

Ruffilo slid his arms into his pockets, ever the face of nonchalance. "Fresh air sounds good," he said with a lazy grin.

Jolly looked around briefly, shrugging as he followed.

Outside, the air felt cool, carrying the sound of distant cars. The sky had long since set, a deep blue, the stars mixing with the light pollution of a nearby city. Tasha and Jolly were mid-argument before the group even reached the curb.

"Jolly, no. You can't call Scream 6 good just because they finally gave Gale a decent arc," Tasha was saying, hands flying in emphasis.

"Oh, come on," Jolly scoffed, laughing. "It had blood, it had chaos, it had a ladder across an alley! What more do you need?"

"Maybe a plot, Jolly!"

Their bickering was loud and hilarious. Lilly tried to pull herself into the theatrics, trying to down out the thrumming in her head. Ruffilo stood between them, arms folded across his chest, watching them with mild amusement. Lilly lowered herself onto the curb, curling her fingers around the edge of it. The concrete was cold against her palms. Her heart still hadn't fully slowed.

She could still feel the warmth of Noah's hands through her clothes. Could still feel his breath against her skin, the ghost of his lips just a breath away from her own. How different things might have been if she hadn't pulled away, hadn't left him there. And yet... she had.

After a while, Tasha reached into her purse and pulled out her dab pen. She took a deep drag, holding it expertly before letting the vapor curl from her lips.

"Sorry," she said, glancing between the guys. "This cool?"

Ruffilo shrugged. "Totally."

Jolly gave a thumbs-up in response.

Tasha smiled, "ok, so, anyway... I just think something like that is so lame..." She then held the pen out towards Lilly. "Want a hit?"

Lilly blinked her attention back up to Tasha, realizing she had missed what seemed to be the entire conversation. But she didn't respond, just reached for the pen. She took a long inhale, eyes fluttering shut for a second. The vapor settled in her lungs like cotton.