What It Cost

Broken

Lilly walked briskly toward the bus, her breath hitching as tears streamed down her face. Noah's words played on a loop in her mind, cutting deeper each time. She felt for the guys, knew how much the night had shaken them, but Noah's dismissal crushed her. She yearned for his approval, and she hated herself for it. She feared she would never be good enough for the band, for Noah. His words left her raw, hollow. Instead of finding comfort in his presence, she was back to square one, feeling like she didn't belong.

By the time she reached the bus, she was shaking. Her breath was short and ragged, her chest tight as if a vice had locked around her ribs. Panic crawled up her throat, suffocating. She barely registered climbing inside, fumbling for her pajamas with trembling hands. Her fingers felt useless and weak, barely able to grasp the fabric as she yanked them on. She collapsed into her bunk, curling in on herself, nails digging into her arms as she tried to breathe through the spiraling thoughts. The weight of it all pressed down on her. Silent tears turned into muffled sobs, her body shaking violently until exhaustion finally pulled her under.

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Lilly woke the next morning with puffy eyes and a dull ache behind them. She reached for her phone. 8 a.m. Noah had mentioned today was an off day. A pang of resentment stirred in her. She wasn't ready to face him.

She listened for any movement. The bus was still. Quiet. Seizing the moment, she grabbed some clothes and made her way to the bathroom. Splashing cold water on her face, she brushed her teeth and changed, tossing her pajamas back into her bunk. As she knelt to tie her shoes, her eyes landed on her lanyard. Noah's teasing from the day before flicked through her mind. Her throat tightened. She grabbed it and left.

The air outside was crisp, the morning chill refreshing. She remembered a coffee shop they had driven past yesterday and headed in that direction. The walk helped clear her head, but her heart still felt heavy. When she stepped inside the café, the scent of fresh coffee filled her lungs, offering a small comfort.

At the register stood a familiar face, the blue-haired girl from last night. Their eyes met, recognition sparking.

"Hey! You're the photographer from last night!" the girl said, her smile bright.

Lilly nodded, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Yeah. I saw you made it to the barricade."

The girl beamed. "That show was wild! Still amazing, though. I'm in a group chat with some fans who went last night... despite the shit storm, a lot of people loved the show."

Lilly's heart eased slightly at that. "I'll pass that along to the boys...."

The two smiled at each other.

Lilly perked up. "Oh, uh... I took a photo of you during the show... Do you mind if I post it?"

The girl's eyes widened with excitement. "Oh, my god. Of course!"

Lilly clasped her hands together. "OK, awesome. I'll probably post later tonight."

"I'll keep an eye out. Now, what can I get you?"

Lilly placed her order for an iced black coffee. When it was ready, she thanked the girl and stepped outside, enjoying the chill as she sipped her drink. She scrolled through her phone, searching for things to do. A camera shop nearby caught her eye. Finishing her coffee, she headed in that direction.

The shop was filled with an endless supply of film and photography gear: lenses, cameras, lights, ND filters. She took her time browsing, enjoying the solitude. She picked out a few filters with cool photo effects and made her way to the register. As she was checking out, her phone vibrated.