What It Cost

Raw Emotion

this chapter is making my brain hurt but here yall go 😵‍💫

Lilly's eyes fluttered open to the sterile glow of fluorescent lights. The soft beep of monitors and distant murmurs of hospital staff filtered through the haze in her mind. Her head pounded, a dull throb that made even the slightest movement unbearable. Her arms felt leadened, her limbs heavy, like dead weight. She took a deep breath in but her throat felt tight, as if she were on the verge of choking on the weight in her chest.

Then it hit her all at once, the loneliness, the confusion, the deep ache in her bones. She didn't even realize she was crying until a strangled sob escaped her lips, her body shaking with the force of it. The room blurred through her tears, and she turned her face toward the ceiling, biting down on her lip in an attempt to stop the flood of emotion. It didn't work. She let herself sob, pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes.

The door to the left of her bed opened quietly, and a nurse stepped inside, her sneakers padding softly against the tile. Lilly wiped her eyes aggressively, trying to force her sobs to subside. She looked up at the nurse. She was holding a tissue in one hand, her face kind but unreadable. Without a word, she extended the tissue to Lilly, who hesitated before weakly taking it.

"Everything will be okay," the nurse said gently. "We'll figure out what's going on and you'll be out of here in no time."

Lilly wanted to believe her, but the words felt empty. She doesn't understand. Lilly thought bitterly, gripping the tissue tightly in her trembling hand. How could she? How could anyone?

The nurse took a seat beside the bed, pulling a tablet onto her lap. "I need to ask you a few questions, okay?"

Lilly gave a weak nod, dabbing at her damp cheeks. Her breath still came in shaky gasps, but she tried to steady herself.

"Full name?"

"Lillian Anders..."

"Date of birth?"

She answered. The questions kept coming; allergies, medications, medical history. Each response came out small and hoarse, her voice barely above a whisper. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this exhausted, like even forming words was a task too great.

The nurse's voice softened as she asked, "Do you remember what happened?"

Lilly swallowed hard, staring at the ceiling. The memories were hazy, disjointed. "I was... at a show. In the pit. I was taking photos." She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to pull the details from the fog in her brain. "I got hit."

"Where?"

"I don't know... My head? My whole body?"

"And then?"

She shook her head. "I don't know." Her voice cracked. "I don't remember anything after that."

The nurse offered a reassuring nod, scribbling something on her tablet. "That's okay. Memory gaps can happen with head injuries."

Lilly wet her dry lips and forced herself to ask, "What time is it?"

The nurse glanced at her watch. "It's about 11:45 p.m."

Lilly's stomach sank. She had no idea how long she'd been out, how much time had passed since she collapsed. A new question rose in her throat, but she was afraid to voice it. She did anyway.

"Did anyone come with me?"

The nurse frowned slightly, tapping on the tablet. "To my knowledge, I don't believe so."