blood moon, marc spector

five.

LILITH GOT A TAXI RIDE TO THE AIRPORT SOON AFTER, SITTING ALONE IN THE WAITING AREA. the hour or so that passed in silence made lilith wish she'd thought to pack a book. she was leaning forward in her seat, her elbows on her knees, hands cupping her face as she silently watched the people milling around the airport.

it was times like these that lilith felt she'd have some sort of existential crisis. everyone in this airport, every single one of them, had their own past. their own mistakes, their own goals. everyone in this airport was likely on their way to visit a beloved friend. then there she was, heading back to her cheap, shitty apartment after her mercenary work.

she would generally consider herself a nihilist, not choosing to believe in the meaning of everything. yet, in airports, on trains, on busses.. in any large crowd, she found herself overwhelmed by the complexity that was humanity. it made her head hurt, honestly, and made her want a drink.

frenchie was soon in the airport, sitting next to lilith and dropping his gray duffel bag down next to her black one. "sleep well?" he asked awkwardly after the silence was apparently too much for him.

"more or less." she replied, looking over her shoulder at him.

"are you doing anything tonight?" he asked.

lilith was surprised by his forwardness, though she didn't really have a right to be. they were friends, whether she could admit it out loud or not, and of course they'd eventually be expected to hang out outside of work.

"i mean.. no." she answered truthfully.

frenchie nodded, not making eye contact with her as he fiddled with his fingers, looking around the airport. "some of us are getting together later. you should go."

conversing with someone outside of work certainly wasn't a bad idea, and lilith almost felt guilty at how anxious frenchie seemed to ask her about this. was she really that closed off?

"yeah." she nodded. "yeah, that's cool. where?"

"just, uh.. a bar downtown. i can send you the, uh.."

he seemed genuinely shocked that she'd agreed to go, which made her feel worse. she supposed she was really that closed off. "yeah. yeah, just send it to me. i'll go."

frenchie smiled then, nodding to himself. "okay. sorry, this is weird."

"why's it weird?"

"i'm weird." he said, shaking his head. "sorry. i wanted to invite you, just didn't think you'd actually think about showing. people aren't really your thing."

"no." she agreed. "but you'll be there."

he gave her a look. "you calling me your friend, james?"

"don't get used to it." lilith replied, smiling at him.

𓀼 𓀽 𓀾

lilith's apartment really wasn't shitty. it was a decent apartment for a decent cost, and so she wasn't sure why she always looked down on it so much. if anything, if it was shitty, it was her own damn fault for choosing not to decorate anything.

if she were a normal woman in her late twenties, she'd have pictures of her college friends (sorority sisters, maybe) framed on a mantle. postcards from all the places she'd visited on her study abroad, a keurig coffee maker or an empty starbucks cup to return home to.

instead, when lilith returned to an empty apartment, she was met with an old receipt from a little market in turkey that she'd visited months prior after a job. she was met with her various piles of books, primarily unstarted or unfinished. where a keurig may have been, in a normal apartment, there was an assortment of alcohol that had become a nightly remedy.